|
The Museum Here's a bunch of crap from Christmas, 2004. The 2004 Five Bucks to Friday Gift Guide! OK, this will make so much more sense next year, when the characters are more fleshed out and all, but going through all those stupid holiday gift guides in magazines and stuff got me thinking - I can do a better job. Of course, I stole some ideas from them, but, still... I think I did OK for not really trying. Also, I was pretty limited to not naming stuff that I got people. So, if you think I'm buying you a gift and you don't see something on this list - there's a chance I got it for you. Of course, since almost all of creation lies outside of this list, that doesn't narrow it down much. We'll being with Pete. As a lazy, hasn't-really-gravitated-collitch guy, Pete still loves over-the-top pranks, even though he's entirely too lazy to carry any of them out. But he's not too lazy to read about them, and If At All Possible, Involve a Cow ought to satiate that need. Terrified by Silent Hill and not allowed to play Grand Theft anymore because it makes him violence, some video nostalgia - Dig-Dug or Ms. Pac-Man - is probably best for Pete. The Happy Gilmore and Bill Madison doublepack ought to shut Pete up long enough for Ron to have a peaceful moment to himself. Magazines are a highly underrated gift, I think, and Maxim will keep Pete happy year 'round. As we saw yesterday, Pete wants the 40 gig iPod. The Irish canning Ty on Tuesday made the basketball team's No Shirt, No Shoes, No Tie, No Problem shirt immediately antiquated, but it won't stop Pete from wearing it if you buy it for him. And, when they go on sale, tickets to the Cubs-Goat Fuckers series in the Pit of Hell would be super. Ron's a bit more sensible. The New Foreman Grill finally comes with detachable grill plates for easier cleaning, and as you can be fairly certain that Pete doesn't lift a finger to help around the apartment, that's good for Ron. Ron likes being angry, and a subscription to The Nation will keep the rage flowing year-round. I've mentioned it on the site before, but the Complete Peanuts is a spectacularly well done production and everyone should have it. Ron is no exception. Those big heads on Easter Island rule, and so does this Moai t-shirt. This TV-B-Gone can turn off almost any TV. Handy for when SUV ads come on and Ron's not in control of the remote. And, finally, raising Pete don't pay too well, and neither does Ron's job. NY Lotto - all you need is a dollar and a dream. Or hey, you never know. Whatever their slogan is these days. The ever-glamorous Lissa cares not for storage size, but rather fashion, so the pink iPod mini would suit her just fine. And since she's always drinking martinis anyway, some crazy martini glasses may be appreciated. Hot sauce, though I haven't said it, is one of Lissa's weaknesses. Lissa could always use something a little slinky - but tasteful - from Le Petite Coquette. Lucky has a buy one, get one for a friend, so you could actually get Lissa her gift while getting yourself a little something, too. Aveda products are super, and the Peace in a Pod gift set looks cute. And, since you can never have enough handbags, perhaps an Aldo clutch (the 673-215, not the Von Dutch rip-off one. Jen and Ron would kill her). And, for Jen, our angry little hipsterish girl, m'ise well start by fueling the rage she shares with Ron. Howard Zinn's A People's History of the United States will fill that need admirably, and in case she reads it all in January, Harper's will keep it going year 'round. The Sleater-Kinney gift pack is so awesome that I wish I didn't already own all of their CDs so that I could buy it for myself. The website is free, but Jen feels the need to support them financially, so the New York Gallery Guide will make her feel good and keep her posted on art shows around the town. Nothing hits the spot like some Newcastle Brown. Her strange sporadic desire to recrate Amelie may get off the ground if she only owned a Garden Gnome, and a little something from Copacetique would be nice, too. She's a small. Oh, and maybe the Idiot's Guide to Knitting, because Stitch n' Bitch is giving our girl fits.
|
