(Last year's edition is here.)

At long last, I'm getting around to doing the Irish catalog o' crap for 2008! I don't know why I never got this, and I don't know if there's a ladies-only catalog like last year, but so far, this is what we have. It's a doozy as always.

We start with the cover, which has kind of a Time magazine border thing happening. It took me a long time to figure out what was going on in the bottom right panel. I didn't really notice that the pictures are the same top and bottom, just divided by masthead, because basically any building on campus could look like the lower half of the Dome building on gameday, and I guess the two shots of the Irish Guard didn't seem excessive to me. The lower right, though, I dunno, it just looks... weird. So, a rousing start.

Charlie Weis is, in fact, the coach. In case anyone reading this catalog was somehow unaware of that.

As usual, one of my big gripes with the catalog is the models. Where do they get these guys? And why do they cram as much ND stuff on them as possible? There's a joke (that I cite often) that the best possible caption to every New Yorker cartoon is actually, "Christ, what an asshole." I think that's what this guy is selling.

Oh, geez, nevermind. *This* guy gets the "Christ, what an asshole" award. And where the hell is this dude's waist?

For those of you who have never been to ND stadium, first off, I'm sorry that you've misspent your life so. Second, kind of like how in MLB parks, there's flags that reflect the current standings, we have flags lining the stadium with all of the season's opponents listed. This year, there are twelve flags. Know why?

MORE FLAGS! MORE FUN!

Fresh off his MVP performance in the Super Bowl, Eli Manning signed a lucrative contract modeling Notre Dame apparel. Why is "of" in a box by itself? Left-justified? Bizarre.

I don't even know where to begin with this one. Oh, wait, no, I have it.

"I drink your milkshake, Purdue. I drink it up!"

The logical conclusion to that ridiculous crest Adidas made when they got the contract 11 years ago. It's a bird! It's a plane! It's Irishman!

OK, so, ND was founded in 1842. My problem with this sweatshirt, however, is that, coming off a 3-9 season (dear Jeebus, how did we go 3-9?! oh, right, the offense sucked and the defense was only marginally better), this looks like the home scoreboard after the USC game. I'm exaggerating, of course. USC shut us out.

The hats are year-in and year-out a horror show, but there weren't many in the catalog this year. This sucker takes the cake, though. What the hell is with the angles and color blocks?

The leprechaun? The school mascot? Yes, yes it is in fact a Notre Dame thing. What the hell else would it be? An Arizona State thing?

That brings us to the end of the guy section, and to the lady stuff. The lady stuff is usually not as terrible, so I'm kind of hopeful.

Oh hell.

There actually isn't much to write about one way or another here... I would like to note that, from '96 to '00, the bookstore did not actually sell shirts that were actually tailored for women's bodies. Everything was just XXL and up, large swatches of cloth with random interlocking NDs on them. I am angry about this.

You probably think I'm going to bitch about the pink jersey, but I've grown to accept that that's just a thing now. No, what I'm worndering about is why no gold in the blue one? We're the Blue and Gold, not the Blue and White. This just confuses me. I can't tell, now that I look, if the 7 is outlined in gold, or if that's just an optical illusion... Still, why not gold Adidas stripes down the side? I don't get it.

Still, better than this, from the kiddie collection. It's kind of like starting your daughter off with one strike against her in life. Why would you do that?

AUGH! Why would you pair the two top ones, which are nice and acceptable, with the disasters in the bottom row? Dear God. Why the pink? Why? Why not white? Think how much better it would look with white (the green one, in particular). Do I have to come out there and do this myself?

Hm. There was something I was supposed to do today, but I can't remember what it was...

This is the back of the Shirt this year. Least. Intimidating. Text. Ever. What the hell are we, the South? And, frankly, I'd like to start this year's return to glory in September, if at all possible. The October schedule is kind of easy, and we only play three games in October, also.

Of course, the low-water mark on Gameday shirts was about two years ago, when the flack was so bad that they pretty much changed their approach on the things immediately. This year, they're all like this. I predict that this one will sell fewer copies than any other shirt they've ever made. I can't believe we're playing San Diego State. It doesn't even make for a good shirt. I mean, look at that. What could be worse?

AUGH FUCK MY RETINAS THEY BURN!

(By the way, this is what maize looks like, you colorblind morans. Note that it never once approaches glow-in-the-dark shades in nature.)