Comic for Wednesday, November 30th, 2005

Posted: 7:30 am, Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Wow, I hope I earned myself some good will with yesterday's post-o-rama, because I've got nothin' today. I've been spending most of my time that would otherwise be spent looking for links and looniness has been spent trying to get a gift guide together. I think we're looking at a Friday release on that, which ought to be good for interweb orders and shipping, in case anyone actually thinks that taking gift advice from me is a good idea.

What I do have to talk about, though, is - first off, happy birthday to Fair JJ, the bride of Mudge, my marathon buddy and sometimes contributor. Fair JJ is nearly as robotic as Charlie Weis, as she has just begun a PhD in microbiology and also gestating a second child. I can barely get my shit together enough to throw some scribbled comic up there everyday, and somehow JJ's getting a doctorate and raising a child with another on the way. What the hell is that all about.

Oh, right, what is the deal with freaking Amtrak? I don't get it. I'm trucking down to DC as part of my Fall 2005 Weekend Tour of No Rest Ever, Ever this weekend to visit E and the IT Wing of Five Bucks to Friday (RAW) and apparently go to a vigil commemorating the Battle of Antietam with E. I figure odds are even that I will run into Sarah Vowell there, so I may bring my copy of Partly Cloudy Patriot with me and see if I can scare her by recognizing her and asking for an autograph. So! In light of the car's heater being out - and work is being done on that - and the price of gas being sky high, and gas being a nonrenewable natural resource, and tolls and traffic being pretty hefty between here and there, and I'm always tired on Friday nights, and can use the time to write my Christmas cards or something, I was looking into non-me-driving ways of getting to DC. This means I was looking at Amtrak and the bus.

I've taken the bus to DC before, for my buddy Pentzien's wedding a year and a half ago. The ride was cramped and loud, and when I got to the bus station in DC, someone asked me if I was famous. I have bushy sideburns, for those of you out there who don't know me, and have been addressed as Wolverine more than five times by perfect strangers (some of whom weren't drunk) on the street, but I don't really look anything like Hugh Jackman. I had my glasses on, and when I first got those, I told people from my high school that I hadn't seen in a while that I fronted an emo band down here in the city. Of course, only about a third of them knew what an emo band - where the hell was I going with this? Oh, right - of course, I'm not famous, and if I were, I wouldn't be in the bus station of DC. The other bad part about taking the bus was, on the return trip, they showed the Steve Martin-Queen Latifah vehicle Bringing Down the House, which is undoubtably one of the ten worst films I've ever seen that didn't mean to be bad. I would rather avoid the chance of being exposed to another terrible comedy while trapped on a bus moving more slowly that you'd think it would.

The other option, then - Amtrak. I figure the train affords more leg space, and probably room enough for me to set up my laptop and maybe get some strips drawn or some work on submitting ye olde novelle, or, at the very least, watch a DVD or play an old Sierra game or something.

Small problem - the train is freaking $190 back and forth, and it doesn't even leave at times that are halfway convenient. The bus is $59. Bus it is.

But, what the hell? The train to DC is a pretty basic route. It's not overly far - what, about 250, 300 miles? You can't knock that to about a hundred bucks roundtrip? I think $190 would get me all the way across Europe in a private sleeper. I don't understand why America doesn't have a more dependable train service, especially with the skyrocketing cost of gasoline and the increasing number of airlines going bankrupt. I mean, it's not a realistic solution if I, say, had to go to Temecula (the final stop on the Fall 2004 Who Needs Sleep Tour), but the train should and can be a cheap solution to regional travel in this country, and the benefits of getting more people off the road are incalcuable. I mean, OK, so the bus is keeping me personally off the road, too, but it's still using gasoline and contributing to traffic by being big and relatively slow when compared to the rest of the highway traffic. Bah, I just don't get it. It's a plot, I'm sure.

Oh, and, to an actual plot. OK, I mentioned, I dunno a month or so ago, that 2.0 and I went to the Society for an Ethical Culture's night of discussion between Scott Ritter and Sy Hersh. One of the more frightening things - well, actually, I guess it wasn't, but it was very disturbing - Ritter made mention of were the private security companies (mercenaries in common parlance) that Halliburton and their fuckweed ilk hire over in Iraq. These human wastes go over there and are basically completed ungoverned, and are used as private armies by Halliburton et al to basically remove anyone that's in their way, causing trouble. Basically, Mai Lai has been outsourced to these cretins. Evidence? If you want. If your stomach's up to it - and the video's not graphically gory or anything, just, you know, really fucking disturbing - the video's here. Yeah, the Iraqi people are much better off with us over there. Yep, yep, yep.

By the way - if I were about to commit a transgression against humanity, be it humiliating torture or wanton murder, I would really think twice about videotaping it. I'm hesitant to have my picture taken at Halloween parties, for God's sake.

Um, I should end on an up note. Oh, uh, I'll have some Christmas cards for you all tomorrow, as it'll be the first of December and that seems like a good time to put them up in case anyone wants them. What else. I got nothin'. I'll let Family Guy send us off (sound, Quicktime, sfw).

Oh, anybody watch that Tupperware thing the other night? We had something on the Golden Gate Bridge, instead. It wasn't very interesting.

bullfrog

I think the rule of thumb in new relationships around the holidays is to spend no more than 50 bucks on a gift with a cool yet neutral sentiment. Example: Season 1 of Lost on DVD over an expensive bra and panties set.

"Panties"--by the way--one of my all time least favorite words.

i watched the tupperware thing!

it was pretty good, or maybe i'm just endlessly fascinated by the way things were.

Ron should NOT give tupperware...that would be weird.

What about Tupperware with panties inside?

I'll have to keep an eye for when the Tupperware thing is on Thirteen. I don't know why I'm so gung-ho about this show. Possibly just because someone actually put a documentary together about Tupperware.

yeah, that's like super strange.

speaking of panties, i had to stop at a really gross gas station yesterday, and they were selling "panty roses". it's a pair of panties, folded up to look like a rose, and then stuck to the end of a fake green stem.

when is this an appropriate gift? WHO would think this is an appropriate gift? does it come in sizes? i may have to stop back and investigate.

oh, MNP, this is the sketchy gas station near your place if you are ever in need of say a pair of underwear and a fake rose stem all wrapped into one.

Are you kidding!?! What girl could turn down a guy who showed up with a dozen panty-roses?

Bullfrog: that diatribe on how hard it will be to get to DC this weekend is not getting you a bigger Xmas present.

It's ain't like that, E! Although, if they insist on showing me Bringing Down the House again, I can't guarantee that I won't kill you upon sight. I remembered when that flick came out that some reviewer declared it "one of the funniest movies ever." A Google search I just did says that reviewer was Larry King, I'm not sure if it was or not, but whoever issued that review should be Clockwork Orange-d into watching that movie for a week and a half straight.

Oh man, somebody made a Queen-50 Cent mashup. I know I have railed ad nauseum against 50 Cent - and with good reason, he's a world-class douchebag - but my love for Queen may dictate that I download this when I get home later on.

http://members.home.nl/visionx/

I'll be sending RAW to the bus station to collect you... just in case.

You mean I can get gas, panties, a rose, and fried chicken all at the same place? WHY hasn't someone thought of this sooner?

I think it's the other sketchy gas station that has the fried chicken. the one with the panty roses is the super duper sketchy one across the street, so feel free to open your own fried chicken panty rose gas station, since the total idea hasn't been taken yet. oh, and don't allow pay at the pump, that says classy.

I think this post needs more random links, so let's all join hands and sing together!!! http://www.ilovemymacthesong.com

Anyone else think this sounds arbitrary? "The Transportation Security Administration will announce Friday that it will ease restrictions on sharp objects aboard airlines, a Department of Homeland Security official said."

http://www.cnn.com/2005/TRAVEL/11/30/tsa.rules /index.html

Congrats to NC for executing the 1000th person since 1976!

I don't get it - isn't it essentially being announced today?

Can my PC play the Mac song, Di? Or does Micro$oft have spyware preventing that? (See what I did there? I used a dollar sign instead of an 's'. Because Bill Gates has a lot of money. This is for some reason considered witty in some circles.)

Those train prices are out of control. Last year I paid $100 for a STL-NY train ride. Who'd a thunk that it's more expensive to go to DC?

The funny part is-- I have a mac at home, but a PC at work... Imagine that!! I am able to listen to the song on my PC tho - it was created on Garage Band, and it cracks me up (that someone actually spent time to write/record/mix/etc it...) Enjoy!!

what the heck is an emo band?

Think along the appearances of Weezer. Unkempt fellows with button-down shirts/ironical t-shirts and dark-rimmed glasses, stuff like that. I'm not sure who exactly is considered emo anymore - the term's kind of fallen out of use - but Death Cab for Cutie and most of the Saddle-Creek artists are kind of the right idea.

Morrissey is like the godfather of emo...or at least I like to think so. I really can't stand Morrissey, though i confess I have heard no more than 30 seconds of his music since it is so instantly annoying. Bright Eyes is often thought of as Emo as well...so it should be said that it's not all bad. I think the term comes from "emotional" os some such stupid thing like that.

oh and damn it Grafe for ruining my panty rose suprise gift for Jeremiah. Nothing says romance to me like the smell of petrol mixed with beef jerky.

I'm suddenly very grateful that Grafe and I don't exchange Christmas gifts!

Great, now 2.0's singing the I Love My Mac song. Fantastic.