Comic for Wednesday, Nov 24, 2004

Posted: 5:06 pm, Tuesday, November 23, 2004

(This is Wednesday's strip posted at five-ish on Tuesday because I'm taking tomorrow off.)

I meant to research to see whether or not babboons actually were passive animals, but didn't get to it. I kind of think they aren't. But, whatever. Not my best effort on this one, gang, sorry - I was really tired last night and had the surreal experience of entertaining my landlord's dad for 45 minutes while he waited for my landlord to get home (he had forgotten his key, and I guess I thought he shouldn't just have to sit down by the stairs by himself).

The Irish are 22-point underdogs to SoCal this weekend, and may crown the second USC Heisman trophy winner in three years. Return to Glory, my ass! On the other hand, the men's team plays Indiana University-Purdue University Fort Wayne tonight, and hopefully they are favored. IPFW calls themselves the Mastodons. I would like to know why they abbreviate themselves IPFW, while Indiana University-Purdue University of Indianapolis calls themselves a palindromic IUPUI. IUPUFW may just be too unsightly.

I also find it curious that the word palindrome is not a palindrome itself.

The ladies downed the Colorado State Fighting Van Pelts last night to run their record to 5-0. Good job, ladies.

I think someone hacked Andrew W.K.'s Ask Andrew. Which is an extremely odd thing to hack. I suspect Juggalos.

2.0's parents get in tomorrow afternoon, and I guess we're getting dinner with them, so that will be nice. On Thursday, the first meeting between the two origins of the species will take place, but neither of us are overly concerned. Tree is much more uptight and nervous about the whole thing than we are. 2.0's theory is that she doesn't care what her parents think. My theory is that, when presented with stuffing, I am single-minded in my purpose and could care less about anything else going on around me. Our parents could be stabbing each other to death - as long as they're not getting blood in the stuffing, I do not care.

Random Thanksgiving musing: Four years ago, my parents and I celebrated Thanksgiving at my aunt and uncle's house. This was very convenient for me, because I happened to be living at Joanie and Mark's at the time, since I had just started working down here and needed a halfway step in between living at home and living on my own for the first time (really amazed I did not starve to death that first year). After dinner, I went upstairs to watch television. The football game that was on (I believe the Ole Miss-Mississippi State Egg Bowl) was horrible, so I switched over the TBS and watched Die Hard 2. My mother came upstairs. My mother loved Die Hard 2. She also watched and loved Big Daddy that weekend. My mother sees, on average, three films a year. Die Hard 2 is not the typical Mary Ann Conway cinema fare. I don't know why I'm telling you this, but I thought it was kind of funny.

RAW sent me this, and it made me cry at the office. Amazon reviews are the greatest thing on the internet, and the reviewers of the Family Circus books do a really good job. Highly recommended. (Of course, now Amazon is going to try and sell me Family Circus books the next ninety times I go to see if Fellowship of the Ring is out in the megalong edition yet.)(By the way, poor 2.0 has to hear "poe-tay-toes. Mash 'em, boil 'em, put 'em in a stew," everytime potatoes are referenced. I'm amazed this girl hasn't shot me yet.)(And, according to IMDB, it's 'stick 'em in a stew,' but, whatever.)

I just flipped through TimeOut New York's holiday gift guide, because my friend Di consistently and thoroughly out-gifts me. I hate that. So I was looking through that thing for ideas - remember when holiday gift guides used to contain things that were actually affordable? This used to happen, right? Now TimeOut is trying to tell me to buy a pair of $455 knit boots (knit boots!) and Maxim thinks I should buy my little brother a $60,000 motorcycle. Thank God I'm an only child.

Oh, first thing I've seen regarding a protest of the inauguration is this, Turn Your Back on Bush. Which reminds me of the grad student who, when Bush soiled my alma mater by being the commencement speaker the year after I gravitated, turned his back to the stage and prayed the Rosary while Bush was up there blathering away. I couldn't find a news article about that (granted, I didn't look very hard), but I did find this amusing rant (for some reason, on the Mr. Cranky forum archives) about a dude who was gravitating at that commencement ceremony. He seems angry, and gets into a vulgar spat with some girl Melanie J in the responses to his post. Good times! Anyway, I'll be down in DC that weekend (heads up for RAW and E) to yell and curse and turn my back or whatever people are doing, so I'll be posting protest activities as I learn of them 'til January 20th. As far as I know, 2.0, CK and Donovan and I will be going, but I have to imagine Lauren and some others want in on this, too (this all was briefly discussed at the Thanksgivingish - or maybe it was discussed at length and I was only a member of the discussion briefly).

Oh, I changed the font spacing slightly today. I think it makes it a little more readable.

By the way, I ventured back to Queens once last week, to collect my security deposit from my old landlord. While talking to him and his brother, I was referred to a few times as a yuppie. I have never thought of myself as a yuppie. I have always thought of a yuppie as a bad thing. But then I realized - Young, check; Urban, check; Professional, debateable, but I work in an office, so I guess check. Shit! I'm a yuppie! I think we need to reclassify it so that "suck" is an inherent part of yuppie, because I don't think I want to be a yuppie. And to think it was only recently that hipster was the most appalling label attached to me.

Um, this is odd, but my coworker Jocelyn sent this to a bunch of us:

I think this may be my first email that I think you all should forward to all your friends that I have composed (besides all those shopping deals I send out). So I was watching Inside Edition (yes that very same tabloid tv show) and they were doing a story on unclaimed money that people are owed that's just sitting in state accounts. So I just tried some random names and found that some family members (my paternal grandparents and 2 uncles) have money owed to them!! Unfortunately I have none owed to me.

So there are 2 links I have posted, one that goes directly to the NY State Comptroller website for you New Yorkers and the other to Inside Edition's website that has links to every state. So if any of you are owed money just remember who led you to it.....Christmas is only a month away!!! (cash is preferred but I can take a check too) Good luck!!

http://www.osc.state.ny.us/cgi-bin/db2www/ouffrm.d2w/input

http://www.insideedition.com/usa_map.htm

Jocelyn

I've heard of crap like this, but, hey, I dunno. The comptroller site looks official, and maybe you can find a few bucks.

Dear God, there's an emu on the loose in Chicago's north 'burbs! I can only pray that Mikey sees this thing.

Here are some dueling Thanksgiving thoughts. First up is Tuesday Morning Quarterback (whose column this week also has a typically fascinating piece on Friday night's NBA brawl).

As you dig into your turkey, stuffing and pecan pie, washed down with a $10 bottle of wine superior in quality to any wine available to the 17th-century kings of France, remember how hard your ancestors worked, and how they sacrificed, in the dream that someday their descendants would be warm, well-fed and secure against nature. Considering that your forebears just a century ago had an average lifespan of 46 years and often shivered during winters while eating mostly salt-preserved food, try to get through turkey day without complaining about anything, okay? Happy Throwback Thanksgiving!

We'll pit that against this, which was waiting in my inbox this morning, from the CEO of the company I work for:

Another year seemingly whisked by,
Summer seeping as a distant shadow.
A time no doubt now of warm reflection,
For holding friends and family dear.
For giving thanks for what we have,
Of not ignoring those who don’t.
And so to all a hope for Thanksgiving,
Brim filled with stuffing and all the fixings.

...

Wow.

Just. Wow.

So, um, I, uh. Sorry, I need a second to collect myself. OK, better. That little octet from corporate America aside, I hope everyone has a happy Thanksgiving. A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving is on Thursday night on ABC, followed by Jim Carrey raping Dr. Seuss for two and a half hours. Hopefully by that time, 2.0 and I will be home, alone, with a bottle of red wine, some candles, and the Playstation 2.

Ain't I romantic?

Hey, happy Turkey Day, everyone. See you on Monday. Oh, and remember, according to my concrete laws of How One Should Behave, it is OK to start consuming Starbucks' Christmas drinks beginning Friday. E has already broken this immutable law of the universe, and shall be punished with death.

bullfrog