Comic posted Tuesday, Oct. 5, 2004

Posted: 8:48 am, Tuesday, October 5, 2004 - updated 9:00 am

UPDATE - I try not to do this, but, are you kidding me? Caffeinated beer? This is almost as rocking as the Water Joe I used to drink at school.

I'm a little under the weather as I'm writing this, so pardon if the post sucks. But, hey, looks like I'm going daily this week.

It's gorgeous in New York this morning - a beautiful crisp fall day. Hope it's nice wherever you guys are, too.

Baseball playoffs start today! For the second year in a row, the Sox are going out west at the onset. And, for the second straight year, the games aren't in primetime. Today's begins at 4:09 or somesuch weird time, meaning that I'm splitting work at three to get my ass back to my local. Since the first three games are all going to be on ESPN, I'm going to be spending a lot of time at Rhythm & Booze the next few weeks. Not exactly what I need, being under the weather as I mentioned. Wednesday's 10:00 start time is going to be really brutal on me. I have a feeling I'm just going to listen to the radio for that one.

Of course, the radio bit me in the ass last year. During game 4 of the ALDS against the A's, down one in the ninth at Fenway (I think), David Ortiz hit a ball with men on first and second. The play-by-play went as follows: "Ortiz - deep! Byrnes going back in left, back, it's - And welcome to the Metrodome, for game four of the Yankees and Twins!" Seriously. I hate New York sometimes. But unless the Goat Fuckers and the Twins start at one in the morning on Wednedsay, and I don't think that's the case, I don't have to worry about that.

Wow, my iTunes is a carnival of strange music choices lately - the Offspring's Pretty Fly for a White Guy is playing.

Anyway, Sox v. Angels. I like this matchup, although my being extremely superstitious is going to prevent me from going into great detail. Too afraid of jinxing the squad. I like the way the pitching matchups fall for the Sox, I'll say that much and move on to the National League, since I don't want to jinx the Twins attempt at beating the Goat Fuckers, either. And, yes, of course I'm rooting for the Twins - a World Series title would be more satisfying if the Sox got to down the Goat Fuckers along the way, but last year's ALCS took six years off my life. I'd rather not go through that again.

I like the Astros against the Braves. A lot of subplots here (Clemens unretiring, the Braves winning the NL East again, the Astros never winning a postseason series). I'm rooting for the train at Enron Field to derail, pick up momentum on the hill they have out in center, and steamroll Clemens from behind while a horrified Andy Pettite mourns his fallen soulmate from the pressbox. Eli Marerro will be at the plate for the Braves when this happens, and his jersey will snag on the train, which will veer north, to St. Louis. The Cards and Dodgers, each losing two starting pitchers a game to injury, will have to go the full five, where MVP candidate Albert Pujols will outpitch MVP candidate Adrian Beltre, 1-0. The one run? A solo shot by a confused Marerro, who returns to the team he belongs with after the train finally stops. After Clemens goes down, the Astros are forced to bring Nolan Ryan and Phil Niekro out of retirement, and sign Yao Ming to play first in place of the decomposing Jeff Bagwell. This allows them to advance past the Braves. Meanwhile, no one in Texas knows that Houston still has a team, because the Red River Shootout between the universities of Texas and Oklahoma is on Saturday. This leads to the insane fans of the Loo filling Enron Field for the two games in Houston as the Cards sweep them, because I hate Texas. However, because Tony La Russa leaves Pujols in to throw 150 pitches in a 23-0 blowout in the fourth game of the NLCS, the Cards will lose to the American League representative in the World Series. Whom I will not name because I am superstitious and don't want to jinx anything.

In the meantime, I got an 84 on the self-esteem test. If only my high school health teacher could see me now! Actually, I would hate that. High school health class was awful.

Speaking of high school health, when my buddy Jeff was crashing at my place a few weeks back, he mentioned our ol' high school buddy Duffy had a tech blog. Which I'm looking for right now. I've found Brian Duffy, seventh-degree black belt, and Brian Duffy, photographer, but no tech blog. Whoa, crappy photographer, now that I look at it. State of New Hampshire v. Brian Duffy, that's not it... Nor is he an astronaut. Right after that, for some reason, this waiter blog popped up and I started reading it. Finding old friends be damned, here are stories of bad tippers! But then I found Duff's blog, and it's about a lot of stuff I can't understand, and I can't get a bunch of the links to work. Oh well. Plus there's no contact info. Brilliant, Duff, brilliant.

In case you were wondering how the segue of 'speaking of high-school health class' worked, Duff and I suffered through 11th-grade health and a third viewing of the Miracle of Life together. Check out those customer reviews of the Miracle of Life - 'Shows the profound spirituality of science' will be watching it over and over again, 'Now you will know that the Almighty is truly behind all this' wandered into the wrong support group, and 'Disgusted' got stuck watching the thing in the same context I did, and no doubt came away like a 'Nam vet with 1,000-yard stare. And, sweet mercy, there's apparently a sequel to the Miracle of Life.

Wow, I'm all over the place today.

bullfrog