Comic for Tuesday, August 2nd, 2005

Posted: 9:00 am, Tuesday, August 2, 2005

This is why I had RAW guest-host the site and not Sweaty or somebody.

Watchholly's post over the weekend reminded me of Clad's party Friday night, where half the party was watching a dude try and score through his skylight. Apparently, he's gotten right down to things on the couch in the past, but he and his lady of the evening decided to take it to the bedroom on Friday night, thus killing the voyeurism. I can't believe that a) they didn't hear everyone whooping it up from the roof twenty feet above them, or b) no one dropped their beer on the skylight.

This is hilarious - a New Zealand site tackling the worst sports nicknames. Their comments on the three American teams to make the list are great. I already ragged on RAW about the Browns being on this list, and he got me right back for the Redskins having a marching band and fight song. Which is still not a hundredth as bad as their nickname, but, yeah, that's pretty bad.

Nice, USA Today ranks the NL broadcast teams. I can't believe the Mets are 8th - I thought their crew is pretty solid. I'll have to look for the AL rankings.. Oh. Here it is. I can't speak to much of the list - I would rank Jerry and Joe higher, but that's to be expected - but I have actually listened to the Royals guys often, and to say they're even with the Goat Fuckers is an insult. Also, I remember listening to the Tribe's broadcast team with Sweats back in '99, and they were pretty crappy. Maybe these are different guys, who knows?

Man, the way not-my-president circumnavigates all of the rules is just shameful. I mean, it's bad enough he's already set the low bar for all future presidents to step over without even trying, but he's not even setting a good example for children. What's the moral of this shitfuck's life? That if you have loud friends, no rules, ever, apply to you? I wish the vengeful god that he worships so fervently, to the detriment of the entire planet, would come down and smite him on national TV. (Note the lower-case g, because whatever god Bush is worshipping, it's not the guy I learned about at Sunday school.)(By the way, in finding that Republican Jesus site again, I stumbled upon this blog, where I learn that evidently right-wingers thought that the War of the World script was anti-American and anti-colonial. This is so funny I almost forgot about hijacking the UN appointment.)(By the way, it lead to this great comment on the Fark forums, too: "And to do this without a confirmation process. My respect for the President just dropped a little." Man, that's good.)

The Hall of Fame held inductions this past weekend, and my favorite player from when I was kid, Wade Boggs, got in. Granted, he died for me when he signed with the Goat Fuckers, and I also nicknamed him the Eggplant Man because of how slow the third baseman for 'B' was in NES Baseball, but I'm glad he got in the hall. Peter Gammons also got in, and gave a tremendous speech (badly transcribed on the Hall of Fame site, but what do you expect from a place run by a Reaganite twit?). This dude from Page 2 checks in with what makes a great speech, and also with the true qualifications of a Hall of Famer. Raphael Palmiero still doesn't make it, sorry. (By the way, I wrote that about ten minutes before this story about Palmiero and ye olde roides broke.)

Hm, seeing the Pixies and Oasis is enticing. Seeing the rest of those bands is ball-crushing. What to do, what to do?

Velcro was evidently invented fifty years ago today. Silent velcro was later invented by a kid in Jersey.

CK tagged me (I guess that's the parlance) with this 5 things list, and it seems like a nice way to beef up today's blog. So here we go.

- 10 years ago: God, seriously? I have no idea. It was in between junior and senior year. I think I was still taking driver's ed so that I could drive after nine by myself (a stupid NY law that my parents were the only ones out of everyone I knew to enforce), and also volunteering at Albany Med to make my collitch aps look better. I worked with this kid, Chris, who fell to one knee in a moment of silence when I told him Jerry Garcia died. I forget the name of the nurse he was trying to get with.

- 5 years ago: I was either still in Denver, at the Denver Publishing Institute, where I met CK. This is back when I thought I'd work in publishing. Didn't happen - probably largely because I didn't have the tenacity to stay after people after interviews - but Denver was a good time. If I was back home already, then I was starting a long and depressing job search.

- 1 year ago: 2.0 had just moved into my apartment in Queens, where we lived in cramped quarters for a month until our place in Brooklyn was ready to be moved into. She had a worse time of it than I did, because all her stuff stayed in boxes for the month.

- yesterday: 2.0 and I went to the This Isn't Working benefit, thrown by the fine folks at Drink at Work. It was a good time - there was a trivia contest, comedy, and this white dude playin' the blues on an acoustic really, really well. The bar was Siberia, which is aptly named because it's in the no-man's land directly abutting Port Authority. More importantly, because I am awesome, I won the trivia contest, and 2.0 and I will be attending a taping of the Daily Show at some point for my reward. I also got a copy of America: The Book, which is nice, because we had purchased it three times between the two of us as a gift for friends, and never actually read the whole thing. Oh, and, beforehand, we ate at Queen of Sheba.

- tomorrow: My softball season wraps up - thankfully. This season was a nightmare. It was like pulling teeth to get people to sign up half the time. We're 2-9. We lost one guy to France and one guy to a heart condition. I can't really figure out what the problem is (obviously, or I would've tried to do something about it). Anyway, we wrap thing up on Roosevelt Island, playing Hooter's. You know it's their accounting staff or something.

- 5 snacks I enjoy: Twix, my mom's chocolate chip cookies, Chipwiches, carrot sticks, peanuts.

- 5 bands/artists that I know the lyrics to most of their songs: I'm actually woefully bad at understanding song lyrics without reading them, but I've got the Pumpkins' catalog down pretty solid. Let's see, I also know most of the Weezer blue disc (and probably most of Pinkerton, too, now that I think of it), the Suicide Machines' first two discs, Bright Eyes, and Wilco.

- 5 things I would do with $100,000,000: A hundred mil? What wouldn't I do? Buy a residence of some sort, in Brooklyn or Ireland or New Zealand or something. Donate some of it. Trick out the site. Buy a paramilitary team to do some cleaning up around Washington. Get 2.0 a skirt. I think that leaves me with about thirty million left, to do plenty of other things with. Maybe I'd get a bar? A bar could be cool. I don't know. That's so much money, my head asplode.

- 5 locations I would like to run away to: Ireland, New Zealand, Nepal, Cozumel, Malta.

- 5 bad habits I have: I am constantly at odds with what is evidently expected of me now that I am an adultish; similarly, I am at odds with what is evidently expected of me as a member of a couple (not by 2.0, but society). I curse a lot. I have a hard time letting myself relax sometimes (my collitch friends are all like, yeah right, right now, but I swear it's true). I expect a lot out of myself and can project it onto my expectations of others, also, which is not fair to them. I guess that's five.

- 5 things I like doing: Reading, drawing, watching baseball, running, lounging around with 2.0. There are clearly many other things.

- 5 things I will never wear: I'd say a dress, but that happened one time. Um. A Michigan jersey, a Yankee jersey, a USC jersey, a Florida State jersey, and anything made out of a baby seal. Whew, that was easy.

- 5 TV shows I like(d): The Gilmores, Lost, the Wonder Years, the Adventures of Brisco County, Jr., and Filmore.

- 5 movies I like: Nightmare Before Christmas, the Lord of the Rings trilogy (counting them as one), the first Star Wars trilogy (ditto; before Lucas started futzing with them with his G5), Casablanca, and Trainspotting.

- 5 people I'd like to meet: Fr. Ted Hesburgh, Bill Watterson, Peter Gammons, Bill Lee, and, ummm... Is this living or dead? I s'pose maybe Jesus could clear a few things up, one way or another, so that would be handy.

- 5 biggest joys at the moment: Successfully updating this thing every day and then watching my friends chit-chat, either coming home at the end of the day or when 2.0 gets home at the end of the day, marching through the iPod, the Sox leading the AL East, just living the dog days of summer.

- 5 favorite toys: Trixie (Polly is busted at the moment), this site, my guitar, the coffee pot, the PS2.

- 5 tagged: I don't think I know five other bloggers, actually. Anyone who's super bored at work, feel free to make this the biggest freaking comment section so far if you'd like.

Um, so, yeah. That's about it. Domani, y'all.

bullfrog

Bullfrog - did you just say "til tomorrow" to us in Latin?? or is Italian just close enough to Latin that I can read it?

Biggest freaking comment section ever, on the way

- 10 years ago: Yeesh, that was a long time ago. Let’s see, 3 weeks before senior year high school. Either playing tennis or mowing the lawn. Yes, mowing the lawn! My lawn tends to overfloweth now that I own a house. Did you know that every gallon of gas burned by a two cycle lawnmower is 10 times as polluting as that burned by a car (no catalytic converter)? Think about it people!

- 5 years ago: Uh, two weeks before I moved to NC. I was probably bugging MJ or MNP in Chicago, or else I was mowing the lawn.

- 1 year ago: Just bought the house and was busy messing up any chance I had with the Secretary.

- yesterday: Let’s see, read “The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” started reading “The Picture of Dorian Gray”, read some of HP5, gave myself a haircut, peaked under my kitchen floor and discovered 3 layers of linoleum, one is vintage 50’s and it’s the most hideous thing I’ve ever seen, sort of looks like confetti covered in epoxy.

- tomorrow: Yeah, I really don’t believe in making plans that far in advance

- 5 snacks I enjoy: Bananas, chocolate, raisins, half of a PBJ sandwich, or just a scoop of peanut butter with some chocolate chips thrown into it.

- 5 bands/artists that I know the lyrics to most of their songs: Sublime, Ramones, Cake, I’d say Johnny Cash, but he wrote like 1,000 songs, I know about 100, but that’s more songs than Sublime ever wrote, so that counts, right? Uh. . . and . . ..Reverend Horton Heat, I guess.

- 5 things I would do with $100,000,000: Buy a house on the beach. Buy a shorter surfboard. Buy some new work shoes since mine have holes in the soles. Wait scratch that, those would be useless. Fix the radio in my car. Buy a small nation. Give the rest away.

- 5 locations I would like to run away to: Pago Pago, Cuba, American Samoa, uhh. . . and 2 other beaches.

- 5 bad habits I have: Only 5, huh? I am a slob. I start projects and never finish them. If I’m working on something, it is never good enough. I’m lazy. I tend to speak quickly/mumble/slur things together.

- 5 things I like doing: Reading, playing cards, taking advantage of the Secretary’s pool on the weekends, hanging out with said Secretary at the pool (or anywhere else, really), writin’ (sometimes at least, actually I don’t but I like to think that I like doing it, maybe I just like it when I’m not doing it, whatever).

- 5 things I will never wear: A beanie, a muscle shirt, anything that begins with mesh, hot pants, and those jeans that are prefaded so it looks like you’ve spent years wearing the same pair of jeans so the front of the legs are a lighter color than the rest of the jeans. That is just bullshit.

- 5 TV shows I like(d): Ugh, I’m only going to list two, since listing any more would be way too embarrassing. Real World, and Laguna Beach. Yes, I know I have a problem, but I can’t help myself. Oh, and My Sweet 16 is equally ridiculous. Makes you totally lose faith in society.

- 5 movies I like: Shawshank, Stand by Me, Back to the Future, Big, Goonies.

- 5 people I'd like to meet: Damn, Hunter Thompson is dead, eh, he’s on the list anyway. Henry Rollins, Bob Woodward, Dan Neil, and uh. . … . . . oh Anthony Bourdain.

- 5 biggest joys at the moment: Friday after 4 o’clock, Saturday, summertime, finally having all of the junk in the house consigned to the junk room, #5 is mushy, so you can infer what you want. I’m not much for mush.

- 5 favorite toys: ZNES. . . . .Tivo. . . .those are really the only toys I own.

- 5 tagged: yeah, I don’t really know what that means.

- 10 years ago: This would have been just about the time that two-a-day practices for football started. The first few always sucked because you weren't allowed to practice in pads for the first week, so it was nothing but monkey rolls, wind sprints, and bleacher running. That was the start of my senior campaign, during which I co-captained the team to a stellar 0-10.

- 5 years ago: I think I was in San Francisco for my cousin's wedding. That was a really fun wedding because she married a guy whose parents were from Mexico and still had many relatives there. They had all kinds of crazy wedding traditions and dances and stuff. Also, I was in recovery from ACL reconstruction surgery, and I had just recently moved to Virginia to start my first post-college job.

- 1 year ago: I can't think of anything interesting that was happening at this time last year. I had just taken my beagle, Molly, to the vet for her annual shots.

- yesterday: I nearly got into an accident on the beltway when some asshole changed into my lane without looking and nearly collided with me and then proceded to slam on the brakes to merge onto the exit ramp. Lifted weights. Played guitar. Watched the thrilling conclusion to Hell's Kitchen.

- tomorrow: Since Saturday's more interesting than tomorrow, I'll tell you that I'm going to Sweden on Saturday.

- 5 snacks I enjoy: Peanut M&Ms, Twix, Tortilla chips and salsa, Pretzels, and ummmm...is beer a snack?

- 5 bands/artists that I know the lyrics to most of their songs: Stone Temple Pilots, Metallica (except St. Anger), Nine Inch Nails, Nirvana, and I guess Led Zeppelin (I certainly don't know most of the songs but they're fifth on my list of bands I know the lyrics for)

- 5 things I would do with $100,000,000: Start my own software company, buy a bar/restaurant, buy a swanky house, invest in some real estate, and of course donate some.

- 5 locations I would like to run away to: Any of 5 locations that has ample employment opportunities, high-speed Internet access (at least 4 mbps), and NO TRAFFIC.

- 5 bad habits I have: Driving too fast, intentionally ignoring problems at work that I know will generate more work for me, procrastinating, planning to do things and not doing them, buying unnecessary gadgets

- 5 things I like doing: Playing guitar, playing video games, lifting weights, chasing my dog around the house, sleeping

- 5 things I will never wear: cowboy hat, cowboy boots, belt with a big buckle, boot cut jeans, bootlace tie (I wasn't trying for a theme, it just worked out that way.)

- 5 TV shows I like(d): Family Guy, Futurama, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The OC, 24 (best television show ever)

- 5 movies I like: Real Genius, Office Space, American Psycho, Weird Science, and Airplane

- 5 people I'd like to meet: Lou Holtz, Matt Groening, Bill Gates, Tony Kornheiser, and Warren Buffett

- 5 biggest joys at the moment: being able to take the Metro to a Nationals game, fantasy football draft is only 11 days away, successfully writing a J2ME application for my cell phone, opening the sunroof on my new car, and my boss not being here at work today

- 5 favorite toys: New car, notebook computer, guitar, Netflix, PS2/Gamecube

- 5 tagged: I choose not to tag anybody since most of the people I know wouldn't bother to respond to such a thing.

test

The Swedish will be less lonely soon. Swedish. Swedish.

MNP, it was Italian.

hey bullfrog. i just wanted to say hello. i cam across your blog, thru a link from http://www.kottke.org directing me to http://www.nycbloggers.com/ i;ve been reading your comments and viewing your comics. it's great stuff. i too am a huge red sox fan (i have the mlb extra innings package and get all the sox games), play guitar & live in the windsor terrace area. do you have a dog? my wife and i have a bulldog puppy: sammy. it's possible you'll see us around. best, dave

Where is Walter Kasinskas?

And we have our first completely random visitor to comment! First the comments go to hell on Friday and now they're bringing people in. This constitutes a big week for me.

Dave - No, we don't have a dog. 2.0 wants a weiner dog, but there's a no-pets clause in our lease. But we watch this dude with his two pomeranians, Mickey and Marty, in the park on weekends whilst we eat our bagels. I'm assuming they're named after Mickey Mantle and Billy Martin, but as they're dogs and not children, I don't feel the need to call the authorities on the guy. Glad you're digging the site - I'll keep an eye out for a couple with a bulldog pup.

"They're." God, that's embarrassing. RAW taught me how to reinstitute permissions after editing comments earlier today - I'm going to have to get to that soon..

Sal - the Woodward School for Girls in Quincy, Mass. No, seriously, that's what google told me. http://www.thewoodwardschool.org/academics.cfm ?subpage=350

10 years ago: What does that make me...19. (joke of cradle robbing starting...now) I was in college, btw. my fresh and soph year maybe? This means I was likely working three jobs and one internship...indicating I was not totally a part of the counter culture movement that was (and is) SUNY New Paltz.

5 years: 24. Well this was the first summer I spent in NYC. It was hotter than hell, and I spent most of my time escaping from the heat by drinking budweiser at Blue and Gold and Bar 81. These are two total dives that are right next to eachother in the East Village. No, blue and gold has nothing to do with the Irish. Geesh.

1 Year ago: One year ago today J and I moved in together! As jeremiah explained this was a temp. thing until our current apartment opened up. J's appt. had some extra friends living in it...and I don't get along with those types...so it was a little harsh at first, but we are still together today.

Yesterday: Aside from the Drink at Work thing I went to the library to do some thesis. Seeing that it was closed I spent the balance of the day in Bryant Park amongst elderly chess players, whilst I plotted my third chapter. One gent claims to have played with Bobby Fisher (or is it Fischer?) as well as the artist cum chess player Marcel Duchamp! Facinating.

Tomorrow: I guess I go to work. From there I will come home and Jeremiah will have fixed a nice meal, and we will follow this with some TV and then sleeping. WOW.

Five Snacks: All forms of cheese, all forms of chips, Combos,

screw the yankees, or as you call them, the goatfuckers. actually we've run into another dog owner who has a boston terrier named yogi. when i asked was it named for yogi berra, he replied, yes. i then asked don't you think you should have picked another name? i mean, you named a boston terrier, yogi?! unbelievable. poor dog. our dog actually is named: uncle samuel adams, sort of paying tribute to where i grew up: troy, ny (they say uncle sam was 'born' there: home.nycap.rr.com/content/us_bio.html

and boston, where i spent 1996-2003 (with a 2 year stint in san francisco in there). i also met my wife there and we moved to nyc in 2003 so she could go to columbia. we moved to windsor terrace in march 16, 2005, and got sammy a week later. best,

dave

oops...shall I continue?

Snacks (cont.): carrots with mustard, and tomato salads

Five Bands: Pearl Jam (I listened to that every day in highschool for over a year), Nirvana (ditto), the Beastie boys (which really...no small thing), Fiona Apple's two albums (please don't hurt me), and...huh...maybe Aerosmith?

100,000: Pay for my school (incl. a PhD) in cash., Buy a nice place with a yard somewhere in BKLYN, start my own non-prof. gallery somewhere in Chelsea, Purchase well chosen presents and vacations for all of my friends, a weiner dog.

Locations: Kenya, Nepal, Italy, Spain, Mexico

Bad Habits: Nail biting (eww...i know), getting stressed about things I can't change, losing my temper, drinking to excess, driving too fast (sober of course).

Things I like doing: Reading (esp. about art), lamenting the president, crosswords, traveling, hanging out with Jeremiah...also snoozing.

shoot, my time on this thing is up (library)...I will have to continue later.

part three...because I like to draw things out...

Things I will never wear: A New York Yankee logo (damn, Jeremiah of course already said that). Ok, I will start over...The American Flag; Fur; Shirts with precious sayings, sprays of flowers, or teddy bears; A 13 carat diamond; anything supporting the GOP.

Shows: These are all shows that I truly loved throughout my history: Lost, The X-files, Southpark, Simpsons, Tom and Jerry (when we moved as a kid I was afraid we couldn't bring Tom and Jerry with us to the new house), Mr. Roger's Neighborhood.

Movies: The Godfather I, Goodfellas, Breakfast at Tiffany's, Amelie, Office Space (best movie ever if one has be fired from a job).

People I'd like to meet: I'm just gonna go with the living and dead. I met Dave Eggers already--and I biffed it--so I don't know what good it is for me to meet people that I admire. Here goes anyway: Bobby Kennedy (so smart, so dreamy), David Bowie (so weird), Marcel Duchamp (damn that lucky chess dude), Michal Rovner (for an interview for my thesis), and Condi Rice (she and I need to have a little chat about what it means to be a girl).

Biggest Joys: Jeremiah and the couple life, seeing the light at the end of the tunnel with my masters, my subscription to Harpers and the New Yorker, My iPod, All that Brooklyn has to offer.

Favorite Toys: well, I guess my iPod (which by the way is named Marcel--after Marcel Duchamp), My laptop, the Gameboy that Jeremiah gave me which has yet to be used (1st generation--oh yeah!), Jeremiah's shuffle...and I am so techno-phobic...the radio in my bathroom which is tuned to AirAmerica.

5 tagged: You five who have not filled this in.