Comic for Thursday, Jan 13, 2005

Posted: 9:20 am, Thursday, January 13th, 2005

(Sorry I'm a bit late, gang - the snooze button won today.)

Not a whole lot to report today. How's that for a completely different strip? It's like a very special Five Bucks or something. Relative absence of a punchline aside, I kind of like this one. Actually, I've been kind of pleased with the whole week's worth of strips to this point. That concludes the self-worship part of today's strip. And brings up a scheduling announcement: My office is closed for Martin Luther King Day on Monday. I'm not sure right now if the plan is to do the 5pm update on Friday night, or come in Manhattan over the weekend. I'm leaning toward doing it on Friday. We'll see what happens. Also, I will be down in DC next Thursday and Friday. My goal is to do a two-day update on Wednesday evening before I leave. Let's see if I can do this all without missing a strip - I rather think I can, I've been pretty good about scripting the comics ahead of time, meaning that there's less to have to come up with at the seat of my pants (really hard for me to just sit down and draw a strip without anything in particular in mind - I can do it with pen and paper, but not the computer). So, while the blog posts will be awfully damn scant next week, the comic ought to roll on. And since the protest signs were a relatively big hit back when I started this site, you can count on more when I get back.

Found this while looking for something else in the paper today - an interesting application of hate-crime laws. I guess if he can convince the court that the Church of Satan actually is a religion, he's got a case. But the real money shot is "The Devil's Trademarks" down at the bottom. And now that I think about it, this whole thing sounds like a bad Law & Order episode.

This is what I was trying to find, sorry for the lousy Channel 7 article... The acting Jersey governor gave his first State of the State yesterday, and listed his top priority as protecting Jersey's schools from terrorism. 2.0 thought this was laughable, I thought it was genius. It's like making a New Year's Resolution to keep breathing.

Interesting article about the Goat Fuckers signing Randy Johnson from the Daily News. I'll pull the paragraph that really got my attention (although, he later goes on to say this team will be the 1998 team all over again)(which is what they were saying about last year's Goat Fuckers, also, by the way):

Banners are earned in October, raised in April. They are almost always sewn in January, however. By this time last year, the Red Sox had pretty much knitted their first world championship in 86 years with their best offseason ever. And now, 12 months later, they almost certainly have lost it.

Um. OK, in the meantime:

1. The off-season last year was pretty good for the Sox. They got Schilling and Foulke, who were huge. But the Goat Fuckers went out and got Vazquez and A-Rod. Vazquez didn't pan out and it turns out A-Rod wears pink lipstick, but he was the reigning AL MVP at the time, and the Goat Fuckers still came out of the off-season favored.
2. I know Johnson's a great pitcher, but he already got in a fight with a random camera his first day in town, and he's 41, 6'10" with a history of back problems, and has actually no cartilege left in his knee (although I guess he said he actually does have some, in his press conference on Tuesday).
3. Johnson's signing didn't stop everyone else on the Goat Fuckers from aging another year. (Warning: This is proof that I am lame and have too much time on my hands) The Goat Fuckers' starting rotation is Johnson, 41; Brown, 40, insane, hated, and an asshole; Mussina, 34; Pavano, 28 and unproven in the AL; and Jared Wright, 29 and a headcase. They've got as many guys in their 20s as their 40s. Key pullpen are guys Rivera (35), Gordon (37), Karsay (33 on opening day and with a bad back) and Sturtze (a surprising 34, and possibly on steroids). Everyday players include Giambi (34, steroids, possibly has no knees), Jeter (31), A-Rod (29, two most memorable moments in a Goat Fuckers' uniform are him getting his ass kicked by Tek and him slapping the ball away from Arroyo in the ALCS), Sheffield (36, insane, on steroids), Bernie (36, defensive range of a beer-league center fielder), Matsui (turns 30 in June), Posada (33), Flaherty (not an everyday player, but I'd rather not have a 37-year-old backup catcher), Tino (37 and just signed - way to make the team younger, Cashman), and Womack (newly signed and 35). So, that's two everyday players in their 20s. Jeter and A-Rod are both pretty durable, but the rest of the team's a big question mark as to whether or not they can stay healthy.
4. The Sox haven't really sat still. They resigned Tek, wisely let Pedro go (although it's really weird seeing him in a Mets cap), signed Wade Miller for peanuts, David Wells on an incentive-laden contract (although everything I said about Johnson in point #2 goes double for Wells, except replace 6'10" with 450 pounds), and got Clement and his funky goatee. Not saying it's been a perfect offseason - I would've kept Cabrera instead of getting Renteria - but, oh yes, it has, because the World Series trophy is in Boston.

I guess I'm just saying that this guy is awfully confident in a team that just performed the biggest choke of all time in the postseason. That's all.

Sorry, I don't know where the hell that all came from.

The news is making a big deal out of the new iPod that's the size of a pack of gum, but if you ask me, the Mac mini thing is way cooler.

Vague reason to be hopeful about the Democratic party. Ted made this speech-ish yesterday, and Dean wants to be the party chairman. I say, bully on both! Now carpetbomb Texas.

bullfrog