Comic for Monday, July 14th, 2008

Posted: 6:30 am, Monday, July 14th

Yeah, I made you wait three days for that. Whatever, like you were doing anything, anyway. No, all kidding aside, I'm sorry about Friday's clusterfuck. Mad props to my former-coworker and his better half, who combined to provide me with a functioning monitor that ought to see us through until we have a new CPU here at World HQ (it's a whole new Bullfrog in '08!). 2.0 mentioned something about how stressed I was in the comments on Friday, and I was. I got my first teacherly interview with less than 24 hours' notice and had a strip to draw, and with no functioning computer, researching the job and drawing the strip were impossible. I got to look up some stuff on the job on the Apple, but I still... I just get stressed when I can't get the strip up in time. I draw this thing because I basically *have* to, and when I can't, it drives me insane. So I hope whatever school winds up hiring me doesn't have a no-bloggin' policy, because it would be hell on me to give this all up.

I've been meaning to throw this up for... I guess less than a week now, but the weeks, they seem so long. It's a list (no links, dammit all) of modern hip-hop that doesn't suck. I'm going to need this, because the kids still seem to think that 50 Cent doesn't blow.

I used to love Jane magazine before it got all kind of sucky, so I had high hopes for Gawker's Jezebel site. After a few visits, I saw that the site actually really sucked. And I know this all broke last week, but, hey, I'm an insanely busy man. But here is a recap of the complete and total public breakdown of credibility of two of the girls who run Jezebel. Added with that fucking terrible New York Times magazine story from a few months back and Leitch's departure, really, we're left with Kotaku and that's about it.

So was that out of your mouth with this awesomeness. Tug boat v. bridge: Tug boat wins!

Oh, man, sorry 51.

Holy shit, Sox back in first place, huh? I know! Now to make it through the interminable three days with no real baseball known as the All-Star Break.

I don't know if I've told you that I'm busy lately, but I am. So I didn't actually know what the big summer song was this year, for Lissa's ringtone. So I had to go here to kind of investigate. I kind of preferred the American Boy video, but Usher's jam is catchier.

(I wanted to go with the Hold Steady, a runner-up on the article, but Lissa would never rock that.)

And in case you somehow got last year's Umbrella out of your head, well, screw you.

So, to repay my absence from Friday, I've finally gotten around to a Museum series I've been planning for quite a while now.

Great Clothes I Have Owned

Yeah, you'll probably recognize several of these from the strip. This is the Beer Palace Racing Team, a tee I got from Alice Underground in Soho back in '02, I think. This one's a sentimental favorite for a few reasons, one of which is it was one of the first steps in the kind-of reinvention/restyling of self I underwent after breaking up with 1.0 and getting my head back in one piece after 9/11 in the City.

Also, the number on the back of it is Tim Wakefield's. Fuck yeah, Wake! It's a shame the numbers are cracking and pulling at the fabric.

Check that sucker out - you can totally see my hand through it.

This is Boecker, who is a possession of Jen's in the strip. I bought this sucker for $10 in Campo dei Fiori in bella Roma back in the fall of '97. My at-the-time roommate Juice had bought a similar model, but without the nametag on it. The amount of people who have tried to speak German to me while I was wearing this thing is nearly incomprehensible. The strangest one was the guy manning the door at Ricky's during the Halloween season. The craziest thing ever when I was wearing this jacket was... And this was in January '03, I think, I was waiting for this friend of Drolett's in Penn Station, and this crazy dude came up to me and muttered something in German. I said, "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not German." He goes, "I know you're not. You should take that fuckin' jacket off. There are people who will hurt you for wearing that." I don't know if he thought I was a terrorist, or if he was some sort of militant holding a grudge against Germany for WWII crimes or something, but, yeah, I left that Hudson News and kept plenty of security between him and me until Drolett's friend's train got in.

It also didn't have those leet lieutenant (or whatever) strips on the shoulder. (Nor the green paint in between the flag and the stripes - that's courtesy an N-train platform.)

Every time I put Boecker on, the sleeve rips just a little bit more.

You've all seen this hat - Ron wore it and then Jen wore it earlier this year, and it's the icon for the Museum. I bought this sucker in the summer of '94, and it's seen me through many a lawn-mowing.

The plastic one-size-fits-all strap has seen many iterations of my head - buzzcut me (that was an unfortunate one), kind-of-normal me, inadvisably longish-haired me from freshman year, back to kind-of-normal and slightly overweight me, and then shaggy-topped and runnin'-all-the-time me. Also note that I cut out the inside netting in the front part of the hat. Did everyone do that? I assume they did, but I haven't bought a ballcap in quite a while, so I could be wrong.

Check out that sexy sweat stain. Fuck yes.

And this... This is old orange. The single greatest piece of apparel I've ever owned. My cousin Joey gave me this when I was 13.

How did the neck get that worn? I have no idea. My back is not especially razor-blade-like. Also, please be aware that the whole is greater than the sum of its parts. God, the early 90s were awesome.

This is a view of the back of the shirt - seriously, check out that battle damage. It looks like I'm a New Kid on the Block trying to get through an army of groupies or something.

Why am I showing you guys all of this? Because - and this will blow the mind of anyone who knows me personally - I have retired all of these clothes to the great hamper in the sky. I shall wear them each no more forever. Yes, that's right - the hat is gone. Did you all feel the disruption in the Force? I can't tell you how many attempts were made on the life of that hat. That poor, beautiful hat. ARE YOU HAPPY NOW, FUCKERS?! ARE YOU HAPPY WITH WHAT YOU'VE REAPED?! I hope you are. I hope you are. (Full confession - the only reason the hat got tossed was because there was nothing for the duct tape to hold onto anymore. Everything else was just getting too see-through or was ripping every single time I put it on.)

bullfrog

-- Monday, July 14 2008, 06:49 am

How foul is that hat? Ugh.

I'm still disgusted, and it doesn't even live here.

I thought Grafe's Heineken hat was bad....

I like that Dr. Octagon is on the list of hip-hop that doesn't suck. "Dr. Octagonacologyst" is a fantastic album.

And that hat is foul.

i cannot believe you still have that orange thing.

Why do boys hold on to clothes until they are too raggedy to wear? I don't think I've ever known a female to do the same thing...Just me?

I hadn't actually worn Old Orange in four years or so - I was just holding onto him like a tattered old flag. Shirt just didn't cover enough of my body to count as clothing anymore.

I can smell the odor of that foul "orange thing" through the internet. Or, maybe I need to close that window.

Now I am starting to feel bad about using the word foul. Apt as it may be...

To my husband's credit I never saw him wear the orange shirt--nor do I think it smelled--but that he would keep it lying around is curious. Especially when you consider how often it's moved. College and back every year, to his aunt and uncle upstate after school, 4 apartments in the city...

A couple of years ago, my parents made a bet about which of them had more pairs of shoes. My father insisted my mother did; my mother pointed out that he never threw anything away. When they emptied their shoe racks for the count, my father owned about 10 pairs more than my mother. He still had running shoes from the 1970s.

CK - what did your mom win? this is a bet I think I could win with Mr. MNP...

luv, you fail to mention that you wore old orange under your robes to your ND graduation. or did i dream that up?

and seriously, boecker makes me think of some great times. can't believe that he's finally been retired. did you give them all a christian burial, at least?

I thought about burning them, but we just moved into this place and we pushed our luck enough with the housewarming party. And, yes, I totally wore Old Orange under my graduation robes - he was still in regular rotation until maybe '01 or early '02. Boecker really gave up the ghost back in November or so, Beer Palace was disintegrating around the 49 on the back, and the hat just had no more plastic to duct tape.