Comic for Wednesday, May 14th, 2008

Posted: 8:00 am, Wednesday, May 14th

So, after seven months of marriage, it's all over here at Five Bucks World HQ. Anyone who wants any of 2.0's stuff is free to come over and sift through it on the sidewalk. I received a picture message of her eating In N' Out on her LA trip yesterday. It's been a goal of mine for several years now to dine on what I've heard is the best fast food in the country, and I was not ready for a bragging betrayal like this. So we're done. Just as my time in the wilderness seemed at an end, too. I kept thinking yesterday was Thursday for some reason.

Man, the Sox. And those fightin' Rays! Goodness!

I think I had all sorts of things to write about today, but I stayed up kind of late reading, and it's taking me a while to get the motor running right now. So I'll probably just check back in throughout the day some. I do know that I've run out of things to say about Sarah Jessica Parker, aside from jiminy Christmas, what the fuck. The Daily News, however, has an entire special section on what is sure to be the most ... something ... movie of the year. In the meantime, there are two wars, a credit crisis, and a presidential election going on.

bullfrog

Zero -- Wednesday, May 14 2008, 08:22 am

In-and-Out is pretty good, but it's not grounds for de-wifeitizing. When she gets back go to Chicken or the Egg down on Long Beach Island for wings that'll blow your mind. Worth the ride.

And yeah, I don't know told us we're all supposed to thing Sarah Jessica Parker is all glamorous and gorgeous, but I'm not buying it. Can this movie release and go away so we never have to see these people again?

Zero Losing to the Orioles? Seriously? What's up with that?

Alright, fine, I'll keep her around.

At least while the Sox are flopping around, so are the Goat Fuckers. Viva Hank Steinbrenner! I fucking love this guy:

"We’ve got to forget about all the injuries and start playing our butts off. The bottom line is that the team is not playing the way it is capable of playing. These players are being paid a lot of money and they had better decide for themselves to earn that money. This is going to get turned around. If it’s not turned around this year, then it will be turned around next year, by force if we have to."

BY FORCE! I don't know what that could possibly mean, but I'm very excited to find out. Hank may be the first owner to get a ban from baseball since ol' Marge.

By the way, I guess I should mention West Virginia. I guess this technically means they're only 8 months behind the rest of the country, instead of their typical 40 years. Also, how about the identity crises in that state? They have an Ohio county, for God's sake.

(My apologies to anyone from West fuckin' Virginia in the room, I actually have little beef with the state. If anything, I share a dislike for Rich Rodriguez with the ... mountain staters?... and a hearty wish for him to flame out and tank in his new job.)

In N Out is not quite all it's cracked up to be. Not quite what Walter Sobchek makes it sound like.

You were not the only one that thought yesterday was thursday. I was wasting time on Wikipedia and while looking at the page for Gold I saw a nice little statement under Gold Price Records. Apparently on thursday May 13th gold reached it's highest value ever of over 1,000$ per ounce.

Certainly confused me for a little while, but if it's in Wiki it....it can't be wrong, can it?

Ha, http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gold

Tampa Bay in First Place. That is just so weird to type. (And probably gave George a seizure after reading the standings.)

If 2.0 sent you a picture of her eating in Spagos while Tom Cruise is giving her a stress test, then you might have something.

Re: SJP: This is one of the funniest Go Fug Yourselfs ever, IMO, just simply because of that hat:

http://gofugyourself.typepad.com/go_fug_yourself/2008/05/fug-and-the-c-1.html

Also an interesting time-waster: howmanyofme.com. There are 125 other people in the United States named Cheryl Klein. (And interestingly, one of them lives in L.A. where *she* is a tall, glasses-wearing writer, editor, and blogger)

hmm, I don't trust that website CK. It told me when I entered in my real name:

There are 0 people in the U.S. named (15). While both names you entered were found in our database, neither was common enough to make it likely that someone in the U.S. has that name.

That was great, CK. Ferris should've stuck with Sloane.

There are evidently 11 of me. Also, I have the 684th most popular first name, and the 643rd most popular last name. I find the proximity of their popularity to be kind of interesting.

Sarah Jessica Parker was portrayed by a giant, walkling foot on Family Guy.

Here's another site to keep you busy for a few minutes - if you ever wondered how many vicious 5 year olds you could take in a fight.

http://www.howmanyfiveyearoldscouldyoutakeinafight.com/

Your sister also does not exist, 15. Heck, most of your family whose names I can remember don't seem to exist.

Huh. 24 people share my full name. I really don't like the sound of that. What's more disturbing...

"99.63 percent of people with the first name Andrew are male." Given that there are 819,461 people in the United States with the first name Andrew, that means, there are approximately 3,032 people (give or take 0.0057) women in the United States who have the first name "Andrew." (Not Andy or Drew, but Andrew. And likewise, there's probably one girl out where with my full name.)

(Top 10 baby name of all time, and yet 54th most popular first name in the US, presently? Man, Andrews must have a very short life span.)

Hey, this is fun. Missed it in the initial perusal of the newspaper.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/05/14/us/politics/14mississippi.html

I scored a 30. Maybe I should tell them I'd rather teach kindergarten, since that happens to be close to the average class size in NYC public schools. (I think it's actually like 40, but maybe someone would hear and come to help when I'm down to the last ten.)

In-N-Out is amazing, but tell her to go to Pink's Hot Dogs if she gets the chance. Blows it out of the water.

i love sjp. can i just say that? i think she's great, loved the headware the other day.

She's going through security right now, so unless her friend who took her to In-N-Out took her on a tour, I think that'll have to wait 'til next time.

You can say it, skt, just don't expect me to understand it.

I've not seen the show, but I catch most of the videos on the series of tubes, and I know there's some fans in the house, so, new Flight of the Conchords summer-love-jam video:

http://videogum.com/archives/music-related-content/the-flight-of-the-conchords-ar_009780.html

Evidently, the song's been in the show, but the video is new. Whatever.

Fucking hell, bullpen.

http://gawker.com/389976/old-white-people-know-the-truth-about-barack-obama

The comments are pretty funny.