Comic for Monday, May 12th, 2008

Posted: 8:00 am, Monday, May 12th

2.0's been away all weekend - and continues to leave me unsupervised until Wednesday - so there was little stopping me from rampaging through Liberty City most of the weekend. I finished the main storyline and now have various mopping up tasks here and there to do, and basically just need to learn the city. I have two issues with GTAIV (spoiler-free):

1. It is a great game, but it's just not as fun as San Andreas was. It is a lovely, lovely game, but they took out so much of the random fun crap that was in San Andreas that I loved so much. Also, the soundtrack. I mean, it's hard to top a soundtrack drawing from the Apex of Musical Evolution, i.e., the Early 90s, but I find myself listening to the jazz station more often than not.
2. Liberty City is very intricately constructed, so the overhead maps aren't always that useful, but the trouble-free approach of taking a cab everywhere or following the GPS means that I have absolutely no feel for the streets and the city. It really serves to take you a layer away from being involved in the city. Maybe I'm revealing too much, but I had a pretty good idea of the layout of most of the San Andreas map by the time I beat the game. I couldn't find my way from Broker to Alderney if my life depended on it.

Anyway, aside from that, and those are relatively minor, awesome game. Good story, one true gasp-out-loud moment, and Tree wants to actually have a friend like Brucie in real life. New York is represented pretty well - not perfectly, but that's not the point. But that is the segue! Here's a very thorough analysis of New York City as it's represented in various animated forms over the years! (And an aside on GTA, this is a pretty funny article on women playing it. 2.0 gave it a crack and took a very long time to drive anywhere - I cannot atest as to how that relates to her actual driving skills, because I've never seen her drive. But when CK took a shot at it, she wanted to know where the "I'm sorry" button was after running someone over. And, frankly, I think it would be awesome if you could drive the people you run over to the hospital and get them treatment.)

There are two ads during radio broadcasts of games right now that are really kind of disturbing. Amp energy drinks run a song that basically celebrates the Walk of Shame, which, you know, I'm fine with, just it's weird. And another one that's on during the Mets 'casts a lot, I think it's some sort of Alka-Seltzer product, but it's about what to do when you're hungover. Hangovers and Walks of Shame were never represented in ads when I was a kid. (I guess I'm feeling old and reminiscining-y now that I'm apparently going to be a teacher.)

Without 2.0 around, I've been forcing myself to get out of the house and socialize with some people. I went to a Cards gamewatch with 15 on Friday night, and we wound up at something of a Sox bar. Friday night, both Izzy and Paps blew saves in the bottom of the ninth, meaning everyone went home pissed. Except for me and 15, I guess, 'cause we had some pommes frites before taking off. Good times. Saturday night, I caught Harry and the Potters with CK and her re-animated boyfriend. And as I'm writing this, I'm waiting for an unexpected visitor to the city to drop by to use the couch for the evening. WHAT LUNACY AWAITS TOMORROW? I guess I'll let you know.

Crystal meth is, relatively speaking, not a huge problem in much of New York. I know it's a big party drug, especially in the gay community, but it's not quite decimating swaths of the population like I hear it is in the western two thirds of the country. As a result, I'd only kind of internet-heard about the creepy new anti-meth ads out there, and, fuck, are they creepy.

I'm glad to see this. A lot of the country doesn't have even adequate public transpo options, but it's nice to see usage is going up where available. We need to kick the habit, 'cause prices aren't getting any lower.

I bookmarked this for comment, but I have no idea why. Maybe I was going to question George Will's writing the review for Nixonland? Maybe there was something more specific in the review I wanted to mention... Maybe I just wanted to curse about Nixon. God, Nixon was a prick.

It doesn't draw the discussion here that Lost sometimes does (damn, Lost has been freaking awesome the last few weeks), but be aware, please, that I won't be watching BSG 'til the wife returns. I peaked at the AV Club, and I see that it got an A. This makes me wish I hadn't peaked.

bullfrog

CK -- Monday, May 12 2008, 10:03 am

Awesome pictures of the day (via A.Word.A.Day): The World Beard and Mustache Championships http://worldbeardchampionships.com/

Holy crap. This guy's my hero.

http://worldbeardchampionships.com/chevalier.html

"Upstart Beard Team USA mounted a serious challenge to the always dominant Germans, taking first in five categories."

They have seventeen beard and mustache categories. I wonder what kind of regime you would have to have to be a member of Beard Team USA?

I think your women-playing-GTA link is busted. It goes to a review of some Nixon book.

That's because I'm a fool.

http://theexplodingbarrel.com/?p=181

I just signed up for a training schedule for the Marine Corps 'thon, and this was the coach's note for the first day of training (supposedly today, but it sucks outside, so, uh, tomorrow):

"Training for and completing the Marine Corps Marathon stands out as one of the most esteemed of life's achievements drawing upon one's physical, mental and spiritual resources over an extended period of time. The universal respect flows from sedentary observers who wish they could find the fortitude to get out there. Participants discover a mature self-respect, along with the previously dormant strengths and capabilities to meet the challenges on this five-month migration that begins when you complete the online registration and concludes at the Iwo Jima Monument in Arlington and are greeted by a respectful member of the United States Marine Corps."

Holy shit, Coach, take it easy there. "The universal respect flows from sedentary observers"? Little full of yourself there, champ.

I mean, seriously, that's almost enough to make me withdraw from this.

Oh my God, it goes on. I'm just trying to figure out the difference between an easy run and a steady run, and what the fuck I'm supposed to do on days it tells me to walk, and the Coach's Note is this:

"Every marathoner, no matter how experienced, has to dig down and find resources to get through the training program to finish the marathon. You'll discover strengths you didn't know were there. As you view the Marine Corps Marathon's red finish arch at the foot of the Marine Corps War Memorial and realize you're near the end of the journey, even the tough guys let some tears loose."

I'm waiting for the recruitment pitch.

Frog - http://gothamist.com/2008/05/12/nathans_famous.php It's totally not online with your training, but what do you think Crif Dog's sign will look like. eek.

I would say that there ARE plenty of sedentary observers from which flows a universal respect. There are probably just as many, however, that think we're psychopaths.

Somewhat related, I'm pretty sure that I will be a blubbering fool during the pre-race national anthem.

Yeah, but "sedentary observers"? Just because they're not running Goddamn 26.2 miles doesn't mean they're "sedentary". That's kind of insulting.

Crownover, I was good with that 'til it totaled the eating "champ"'s intake - barf, man.

And I hate to say it, but my last Crif Dog run, there was a decline in quality. Also, they no longer sell beer. The two may be related.

Don't worry, Bullfrog, no one has ever mistaken you for a Marine. :-)

HOO-A - oh, fuck it, I'm going home.

Guess what! You are running in something called the "Marine Corp Marathon"! Do you expect it to be all rainbows and puppy dogs and just do your best? Get ready little soldier. I hope you're ready because I heard the Marines chase the back of the pack with bayonets drawn.

I think the softball team could use some of that, coach.

This is awesome: Bill O'Reilly from way back when, still an immature douche. (audio NSFW)

http://www.avclub.com/content/hater/how_bill_oreilly_was_discovered

That is indeed a very military-speak motivational text, so much so that I think I will send it to my Navy bro so he can laugh at it.

No kidding, that motivational info actually reminded me to write my buddy in the Marines and wish him a happy birthday.

I just listened to an All Songs Considered where the two dudes from Portishead DJed, and I have to say, as is often the case, I find the guest DJs' choice in music much more interesting than their actual music.

Is there a big Portishead fan in the room? I just don't get the allure of Portishead. Feel free to explain it to me if you'd like.

Agree with Bullfrog - don't understand allure of Portishead. Please to explain.

I kind of dig Portishead. Not sure why. I really enjoyed their live album. Good background music for sitting around, getting drunk, not doing much.