Comic for Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

Posted: 12:45 am, Wednesday, April 2nd

Big news at Five Bucks World HQ today - 2.0 has procured employment, raising the percentage of gainfully employed people in the household to one-half, and allowing me to begin my lifelong dream of being a house husband. Oh, man, it's going to be great.

I actually saw that bumper sticker - "Get in, sit down, shut up -- and hold on!" - last week, right here in the 718. I don't believe I've ever intentionally put a bumper sticker on my car - I know I've had some Irish rear-window decals over the years, but bumper stickers, eh, I don't know. My mini-fridge back in collitch was definitely totally covered in bumper stickers - my favorite two being "Stop the hate, impeach Republicans," that I got for giving money to the New York state Dems, I think, and the contrasting, "Liberals suck," which I bought from an absolutely ass-crazy gun-shop owner in South Bend. I'm sure I've talked about him before. I'd link to his website, but I'd be afraid of him coming and shooting me. Google "gun shop south bend indiana" and he's the first result. Anyway, yeah, so, bumper stickers. I found a few other great ones while making this strip - here and here. The last one is all fundamentalist bumper stickers, which especially drive me insane, because I find myself arguing in my head with the fucking things. There are some humdingers in that one, too. "Don't let some scumbag steal your Precious Virginity", "Hey Teens! Self Control Beats Birth Control!", "Strange how people believe a Biased Newspaper but question the BIBLE", "Roe vs Wade is STENCH FROM THE BENCH!", and then the awesome "The Big Bang Theory is a joke An explosion in a print shop couldn't create a dictionary". Isn't practicing birth control actually a measure of self control?

I had a bunch of stuff loaded up to show you guys today, but I had to close my browser to get GameDay Audio to work for the Sox game, and lost 'em all. Man, thirty-five minutes on hold because MLB's site isn't SMRT enough to know I've already been charged. It would've been hilarious if I didn't have my freaking bill right in front of me, and weren't missing a game. I mean, it was ten o'clock the second real day of the season, and I'd yet to hear the Giant Glass jingle! One eight hundred, fifty-four, GI-ant, one eight hundred, fifty-four, GIant, CALL! GIANT! GLASS! It haunts my dreams.

Stereogum did do another awesome installment of its Old Stand series, though, this time bringing us a twenty-year old Rolling Stone.

I have to admit, if I were still in collitch, I would totally eat this thing. Just reading about it awakened a long-dormant desire for a McRib sammich. Anyone know if they still serve those things from time to time in the dining halls at ND? Because they were awesome.

Finally caught up on Lost yesterday! There are so many giant bunnies running around that freaking island now, I don't even know where to begin.

It is seriously maddening to me that I lost so many links for ye. Oh well.

bullfrog

Bullfrog -- Wednesday, April 2 2008, 12:50 am

Paps just struck out the side in the ninth, fuck yes. Good game by the pitching staff. Here's a massive Bill James Q&A with Freakonomics, to celebrate.

http://freakonomics.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/04/01/bill-james-answers-all-your-baseball-questions/

I just found out that I missed working out (as in, gym) with Barak last week by about an hour. Apparently I got in too early and an hour later he was pumping iron with all the BofA slackers who don't get into work until 9. Darn it!

i don't remember bumper stickers on your car as much as i remember tampons

The tampon bandit! Haven't seen him in like four years now.

Congrats to both parties on the new FiveBucks HQ job employment situation. Well done!

15 will appreciate the Wrigley faithful's inability to translate Japanese:

http://www.faniq.com/blog/Cubs-Fans-No-Translate-Japanese-Well-Much-Blog-7805

Congrats 2.0!!!!

I love that tampon story.

Oh...and also thank you for the congratulations everyone. I look forward to being greeted by my husband with a well mixed gin and tonic.

Wal-Mart update...

http://www.cnbc.com/id/23906091/for/cnbc

Congrats on the job 2.0!

In addition to the gin and tonic, here's another idea for the hubby: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20080401/od_uk_nm/oukoe_uk_pregnant_man_1

I'm going to bludgeon you with Ted Williams' head, there, Boone.

Oh yuck boone. yuck.

Does he know how to make a well-mixed gin & tonic?

As originally posted on Every Day Should Be Saturday: The Fulmer Cup. (http://www.everydayshouldbesaturday.com/category/fulmer-cup/)

(The wiki version of this is http://www.sportsargumentwiki.com/index.php?title=Fulmer_Cup)

I mention this because apparently this morning, I heard where a couple of Portland State's athletics (I can't remember if they were in football or basketball) are (still, I presume) holed up in a Mexican jail. That can't be good. Almost beats some West Virgina football player being up a midget in a bar fight. A midget.

(And yes, this year's Fulmer Cup leader is...my alma mater, the Missouri Tigers. This corresponds to such an dramatic increase in the crime rate in my beloved college-town that has lead many actually wonder, do we really need all of these African-American students from the inner city sections of St. Louis and Kansas City?)

Wow, Aeire has a plot line that seems a little familiar:

http://www.punchanpie.net/cgi-bin/autokeenlite.cgi

Ron's way too meek for any of that violence.

And, man, West Fuckin' Virginia, keeping the little man down. Hadn't heard about that one.

I assume MNP has read this one already...

http://online.wsj.com/article/SB120709731194481991.html?mod=todays_us_nonsub_page_one

OK... one more about a local tragedy that happened this morning, then I will quit posting links, I promise.

http://abclocal.go.com/wls/story?section=news/local&id=6056839

You're a wealth of info today, diggity. You should swing by that on-ramp on the way home to get some brew.

I know a dude - a friend of CK's - who is a game tester for Rockstar. I actually saw his name in the QA section of the Bully end credits, which made me laugh. Anyway, one time last year we tried getting together to watch the Sox, and I bitched about work. He echoed the sentiment, and it was a few minutes before I realized his work is what I do to unwind. I've since gotten over that.

Until right now. That bastard.

http://kotaku.com/373773/gta4-hands+on-the-world-is-yours

Oh, man, the Cubs' statue of Ernie Banks that they just erected (hopefully it's nothing like the nightmare vision that is the Harry Caray statue) says "Lets play two." (sic) My head asplode.

what I love about the baking world cup is that they make things that are meant to be looked at, not eaten. Isn't that called sculpture, not baking?

NOSOTROS CREEMOS!

Seriously, fucking nosotros creemos, man. I can't believe the Royals shut them out.