Comic for Tuesday, March 4th, 2008

Posted: 7:55 am, Tuesday, March 4th

This will more or less be the scene at Five Bucks World HQ tonight. Hopefully, the homeboy can put this sucka on ice tonight. I'm tired of a news cycle of the primaries where 80 minutes of coverage are spent on every 1 thing that happens on the campaign trail. Guh.

A few days late, from his "Gas is hitting $4 a gallon?" speech, did everyone hear Shitwit say he knows how hard it is to put money on the table? It reminded me of that awesome "Make the Pie Higher" poem from way back in the day. (Pre-9/11, I think.)

I think we all agree, the past is over.
This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen
And uncertainty
And potential mental losses.

Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet
Become more few?
How many hands have I shaked?

They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.
I know that the human being and the fish
Can coexist.

Families is where our nation finds hope
Where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize society!
Make the pie higher!
Make the pie higher!

Food on the your family and money on the table. I'm assuming clothes go in your wallet. That's not my president, all right. (Looking for that, I found this piece, which will truly go down in the annals of poetry, displacing any number of the all-time greats.)

Whoo, go Saints! MAAC regular season co-champs!

San Andreas pre-dated Kotaku (or my awareness of it, anyway), and had *way* cooler street murals than IV looks like it'll have. Plus it made more sense for there to be street murals with a gangsta-themed game. But, yeah, EEEE!

From Posnanski's old blog, a post on just how Goddamn awesome Yaz was back in the day. And I am very excited to learn that I'll be able to watch the Sox-A's over in the land of the rising sun without even having to leave the house (also, that it's a 6:05 am start - I thought I was going to have to go hit the Professor's at like two in the morning).

I loved this AV list of tempting funeral songs. Being the most morbid kid of the pre-emo era, I actually considered songs to play at my funeral back in high school. I'm sure this will shock anyone who's a long-time reader, but I'm pretty sure the Pumpkins' Farewell and Goodnight won out.

I only got a 20 out of 25 on this Nintendo quiz - although I nailed a few of the harder ones, I thought - and I got a much better 13 of 15 on this Saved by the Bell one. God, I love Saved by the Bell.

bullfrog

Zero -- Tuesday, March 4 2008, 08:17 am

Booo Saints! Go Stags!

Zero

I scored a mere 8 out of 15 on the "Saved by the Bell" quiz. If only they'd asked questions about the "Hawaiian Style" special . . .

Not everything can be Scrabble, CK.

Why in God's name is Lupica writing political articles now?

http://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/2008/03/04/2008-03-04_time_for_barack_obama_to_send_hillary_cl.html

I almost went to FU, Zero. Proximity to the beach was the draw there.

13 out of 15... i loved saved by the bell

I was sort of zoned out yesterday on the way home from work, and the sports radio guys were sounding like the teacher in the Charlie Brown specials, but the name of the winning pitcher for the Cubbies last night stuck in my head.

http://mlb.mlb.com/news/boxscore.jsp?gid=2008_03_03_chnmlb_seamlb_1

Note: The box score contradicts itself. Double Note: I'm sure he looked pretty doing it.

As long as he doesn't tear a rotator cuff patting himself on the back..

Sorry. I love Sammy and I hope he does great for the Cubs, but, God, his senior season drove me fucking insane.

I mean, he had a ball hit him in the fucking helmet in the end zone of the Sugar Bowl!

Well. I got 14 out of 15. What particularly shames me about this fact is that Zach Morris got a 1502 on his SAT. I did not take this test but can only imagine I would have performed, as a whole, much, much less well than on the SBTB test.

You didn't take the SAT? I've never heard of such a thing.

What'd you get wrong? I biffed the name of the girl group... And obviously something else. One moment.

Ah, the title for the beauty pageant winner. I went with Ms. Independence because I remembered the 4th of July theme.

I also was wrong about the Ms. Liberty Pageant. You know what annoys 15? I Tivo Saved by the Bell: The College Years.

Starring Bob Golic, member of the '77 title team.

http://und.cstv.com/sports/m-footbl/mtt/golic_bob00.html

I get to vote today and it matters!!!

And, for an on-the-ground report, the Obama folks are all over campus (UT Austin). Chalk on the walls, stickers and posters everywhere, people giving out info about caucusing-- Really amazing organization. Clinton, on the other hand, is surprisingly absent.

The best though: Obamanos. http://www.flickr.com/photos/xgray/2282436463/

Though Viva, Obama takes a close second: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0fd-MVU4vtU

Nostros obamanos!

Man, early Weezer is so good.

I think the state of Ohio is dedicated to fucking everything up for the entire nation. I never thought that I would say this but... I'm putting my faith... in... Texas.

I just feel dirty now.

Seriously, it's good to see that Texas and Ohio can be counted on in these troubled times to... never stop sucking.