Comic for Thursday, January 10th, 2008

Posted: 12:00 am, Thursday, January 10th

Sadly, my awesome hat of awesomeness is busted probably beyond repair. It's still in the bottom of my closet somewhere, along with Boecker, who needs to be retired, but the plastic sizing band in the back snapped clear off, in a way that can't even be duct-taped. Have I mentioned this? It happened over the summer, but I was so distraught I probably couldn't discuss it rationally.

I'm listening to Andrew W.K. right now. God, that music just makes you want to run through a brick wall. My homeboy should use it on the campaign trail. That one's free, Barack. (Good work getting some union support, though. God, I miss unions.)

We watched the Waitress with Felicity, Larry David's wife and Matlock last night, has anybody seen it? It's awesome. Just a wonderful, sweet little movie. For all its simplicity and sweetness, it was kind of the vanguard in '07 - the first flick released last year to deal with an unwanted pregnancy (it also deals with awesome-looking pies, predating Pushing Daisies in that department). Highly recommended. (Also, it had a Cake song on the soundtrack. Which segues nicely to Pop Tarts Suck Toasted reminiscing about Fashion Nugget, an underrated disc.)

Shit, seriously? They got Will Smith now, too?

I've never been to DiFara's. Any New Yorkers know if I'm missing anything?

I watched very, very little football this year, due largely to the wedding and ND’s sucktitude. Looking at this photo recap of bowl season, I think the only thing I missed was Ralphie running around the stadium turf. More 500-pound animals should be trusted to dopey collitch kids wearing ludicrous outfits in extremely crowded places. Also, this is awesome. One further also, it is also nice to know that all of Michigan's skill positions are leaving. Of course, they won't have a three-year gap in OL recruiting to contend with, which will probably save the motherfuckers from a 3-9 season, but, I'll take what I can get.

Whoo, doggy, is it really only Thursday? Lord.

bullfrog

CK -- Thursday, January 10 2008, 08:29 am

Will Smith is good friends with Tom Cruise, so . . .

And I know Paul of Harry and the Potters recommends DiFara's highly, and so does Melissa, though I've never been there myself.

Hee-hee!

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2140/2180844540_a0a11a2d3f_o.jpg

I'll have to truck to out there sometime and give it a shot.

Because the only time in my life I've dressed appropriately for the occasion was my wedding, I wore my Harry and the Potters t-shirt to jury duty on Monday.

Defense attorney: "OK, I think we're good here. May I ask what it is your t-shirt says?"

Me: "Uh. It says 'This Guitar is a Horcrux.' It's for a band called Harry and the Potters. They, uh, sing about being Harry Potter."

Defense attorney: "OK."

I had a conversation along similar lines when I went to the hospital after slicing my finger open with a Kukri knife. It's a 'Skull Panda Loves Kitties' tee and the doctor was fascinated both by the design and that someone would actually wear it.

This is also when I learned about not messing with ER karma because it was a Friday night at 11pm and they took us right away, and right as he's about to stitch me up I said, 'Jeez, it's quiet in here for a Friday night, isn't it?' My cousin was with me and he works in operating rooms, and he and the doc looked at each other and shook their heads and said, IN UNISON, 'Never say that!' With that an ambulance pulled up with car wreck victims, and I waited so long for my stitches they had to give me another shot of lidocane (and no, Clemens, they didn't give it to me in my buttock, you moron. Research your lies!) to re-numb me.

Zero

I got to wait quite a while in the ER myself, because I was on top of things enough to keep my finger elevated, and therefore wasn't spurting blood everywhere. I probably would've gotten better service otherwise.

Our highlight was some kid high as a fucking kite who got handed a bucket while he was waiting. Thankfully, he didn't need it.

My cousin later told me the key to getting attention immediately in the ER is to add to your ailment 'and I'm having chest pains.' Couldn't lie like that myself, but I imagine some do.

Zero

I second Frogo's and PopTart's motion that Fashion Nugget album has legit replay value. The "I Will Survive" cover should somehow be about 2 minutes shorter. Other than that, I wouldn't change a note.

Proper apostrophe usage above? Was I really supposed to use it twice? Inquiring mind wants to know.

Audience Poll: If FiveBucks were a major motion picture, what would it be rated?

Intriguing Sub-Question: Is that rating about to change?

Well, there's no nudity, drug use or prolonged graphic violence in the strip, but there is occasional language (moreso in the blog than the strip these days), "sexual situations" and the characters constantly have a drink in their hand. So it's basically Cheers with a lot of cursing. I'm guessing PG-13, but maybe R because I love-a me the f-bombs.

And, yes, starting next week, Five Bucks is all hardcore, all the time.

I thought the new rule was once you use the f-bomb it's rated R automatically. I could be completely wrong on this.

From http://www.mpaa.org/FlmRat_Ratings.asp:

"A motion picture’s single use of one of the harsher sexually-derived words, though only as an expletive, initially requires at least a PG-13 rating. More than one such expletive requires an R rating, as must even one of those words used in a sexual context."

So, Pete saying, "I am going to fucking kill you," is a PG-13. Pete saying, "Fuck, I am going to fucking kill you," is an R.

Pete saying to a girl at the bar, "I am going to fuck you," is an R.

I am a little foggy as to the rating that results from Pete saying, "I am going to fuck you," to Ron while they're playing NCAA on the PlayStation. It's the exact same phrasing, and it has, obviously, a sexual meaning, but it is clearly not a strictly sexual context.

Also, "one of the harsher sexually-derived words"? First off, I don't think should be hypenated, and second, fuck, MPAA, grow up. I'm surprised they didn't say, "uck-fay".

Ugh. I can't believe you drew poor Jen with that horrible hat on her head. I'm itchy just thinking about it.

She still has her bandanna on.

Thank God!

Thank you. I was too lazy to look that up.

J- this has you written all over it - http://www.newyorker.com/online/covers/slideshow_tilleycovers

That's pretty sweet. I'll have to see if I can get a sec to whip something up this weekend.

Wait, the prize is I get to be on their website? Way to break the fucking bank, New Yorker.

Hold on, hold on. Let's figue this out...

Newyorker.com says:

"Our favorite submissions will be featured on newyorker.com along with this year’s anniversary issue."

This I take to mean you will be on the website AND on the anniversary issue. (not bad I think!)

It *could* also mean your illustration would be featured on the website ALONG SIDE this years anniversary issue cover. (not nearly as cool)

Hold on, hold on. Let's figue this out...

Newyorker.com says:

"Our favorite submissions will be featured on newyorker.com along with this year’s anniversary issue."

This I take to mean you will be on the website AND on the anniversary issue. (not bad I think!)

It *could* also mean your illustration would be featured on the website ALONG SIDE this years anniversary issue cover. (not nearly as cool)

I love this line in those rules:

>> CONSUMER DISCLOSURE: You have not yet won.

Though the fact that they have to explicitly state this, probably because someone at some point thought they HAD won and sued, makes me fear for America.