Comic for Wednesday, July 25th, 2007

Posted: 7:00 am, Wednesday, July 25th

Probably most people don't know the Mercedes ad I'm talking about. Lemme see if it's for some reason on YouTube. Nope. Alright, well, the idea is that the dude's wife drives him to the wrong airport, and somehow because they're in a Mercedes, he can still make his flight. This is wholly impossible.

This interview with Jeff Pearlman, who wrote Bonds: Love Me, Hate Me, or something, is the best thing I've seen on Deadspin in months. My favorite excerpts:

Bonds is completely, undeniably 100 percent full of shit. ... Bonds cares no more about baseball history than does my goldfish.

I was surprised by the number of journalists who have hammered Aaron for his stance, and I think it's disgraceful. Let's see--we have a man of undeniable integrity who went through unspeakable racial hatred while breaking Babe Ruth's cherished record. He turns a baseball mark into a baseball/civil rights mark. Seven hundred and fifty five is an American number, not a sports number. Aaron spends much of his career bemoaning cheaters and endorsing righteousness. Then Bonds comes along, cheats and erases Aaron from atop the greatest record in sports. Why in the world would Hank Aaron follow Bonds around? Bonds is as un-Hank Aaron as anyone this side of Ty Cobb.

Barry Bonds is evil.

I hate--absolutely, positively hate--that Barry Bonds is doing this.

Good times!

Seriously, Zodiac was awesome. And I’ve heard awesome things about the Host, also, which means 2.0 will be subjected to it shortly.

Are you kidding me, Cheney couldn't remember the difference between Jessica Lynch and Jessica Simpson?

I really liked Legally Blonde. And I really hate Dolores Umbridge. So this amused me. (Never bothered to see Legally Blonde 2, though, and from everything I've heard, I made the right call.)

I'm not sure what I'd horde when the zombies rise, but this guy is. I'm guessing canned foods, a 12-guage, and shotgun shells. I could probably hit a zombie with a shotgun. Big enough spray. (I'm a dreadful shot with pistols, OK with rifles.)(Hey, I grew up on a farm, quit looking at me like that.)

Harry chat is slowin' down, but 2.0, 15, CK, Leaky-Cauldron girl, and some others (who are not being named only because I don't know of their internet presences, not becuase they're the guys in the red shirts on Star Trek) got together at the Gate last night to discuss the books over some Old Speckled Hen. (NO SPOILERS, DON'T WORRY) Leaky-Cauldron girl is actually getting to lead off a big chat with JK Rowling on Monday with the first question, which is cool, and CK explained the whole wand thing in a very satisfactory (to me) step-by-step way. Oh, and there's a Hogwarts, A History-ish on the way, so that's awesome.

Annnd that's about all I've got.

bullfrog

Zero -- Wednesday, July 25 2007, 07:57 am

Those Mercedes commercials, oy. Woman drives like a complete a-hole but it's okay because they run a tiny disclaimer at the bottom saying, "Mercedes doesn't recommend that you drive this way." Just what you'd expect the ad to be an overpriced piece of junk (I take 'em apart, I oughta know).

Zero

So...Mercedes is another name for a mid-life crisis?

The AV Club's Year of Flops hits Gigli, and I cannot believe it has almost been four years since Tree and I went to that flick opening night at the AMC. An all-timer, right there.

http://www.avclub.com/content/blog/my_year_of_flops_case_file_52

It is also the premise of a Friends episode. Rachel is leaving from one of the airports and Pheobe takes Ross to the wrong one, but they make it to the right one in time. She was driving an old cab, not a Mercedes.

SKT, did I get it right?

WOW.

Oh, wow, this is awesome. I am no fan of NASCAR, but I almost feel bad for those who are now. Make sure to watch the video. AMAZING.

http://awfulannouncing.blogspot.com/2007/07/not-since-invention-of-glow-puck-has.html

"The Host" *is* terrific. Kind of HPesque, too, in terms of its quick changes in tone and edge-of-your-seat action sequences.

It's sitting on the top of the queue, waiting for us to watch Iron Giant and the Bill Space Man Lee documentary I found the other day.

Why do you hate our friend Ron so much, Bullfrog? Why?

Because tragedy is when I have a paper cut, and comedy is when you fall through an open manhole and die.

I hope you don't wish me to fall through an open manhole!

I do like the crescendo that you're building up to with the story line.

No, not at all. I wouldn't be there to see it, so it would be wasted.

Just kidding! Kidding! We love our readers here at Five Bucks to Friday! It's a Mel Brooks quote, actually, the manhole bit, and one that I trot out often, for some reason. Anyway, I don't know why I put ol' Ron through the wringer the way I do. But it seems to generally amuse people that I do, so he can expect the Charlie Brown treatment to continue for the foreseeable future.

My friends and I once circled Ohare for 20 minutes and kept calling our friend John whom we were picking up, asking him where he was. Finally, he called back and said, "I'm on the curb.... at Midway". Oops.

Awesome. I once ran the entire length of LaGuardia (an astounding monument of inefficiency in airport design) trying to find Tree because I had left his flight info at home. I had the airport right, but for all my effort, he m'ise well have been in Newark. Handily, this was in his Luddite days before he had a cell.