Comic for Wednesday, July 18th, 2007

Posted: 7:00 am, Wednesday, July 18th

I’m tearing through this list, although I’m about to put it on pause for Harry 7 and then 15’s lent me Island at the Center of the World that I need to read, and another friend has lent us the Malcolm Gladwell books (any recommendations on which one to read first are welcome). I’ve got the other two Dark Material books to go – I enjoyed the first one enough to go ahead with them, it really picked up in the last half– and then I guess I was thinking Middlesex, since I’ve heard good things. If I’ve read Choke, do I even need to bother with Fight Club? I wasn’t blown away by Choke, and I think Palahniuk may just not be my bag, baby. (Did you know Fight Club only made $37 million domestically at the box office? It was considered a pretty huge bomb in its theatrical run. This seems to be a problem with David Fincher’s movies.)

Rock star!

Time for the Two-Minute Hate. I fucking despised this girl on the Tyra Banks show a few months ago, and I am currently despising this little dipshit. I seriously change the channel when this ad comes on.

It doesn't matter what you call it, Verizon - it's fucking cable.

I will counteract that thing with this awesome metal video from World at Warcraft that I don't really understand - is this actually gameplay footage? can you make a band out of monsters? because that's awesome - but love.

Speaking of rock, the only thing weirder than this news is the style sheet that Blabbermouth uses. Bizarre.

Rock not your thing? Edan's Beauty and the Beat is one of the most unique hip-hop albums I've ever heard, and this site has a link to their contribution to a Stones Throw comp that is also pretty damn sweet.

CNNSI is doing a weird thing where their paid sportswriters get to talk about the best games they've ever seen live. I actually can’t think of one live. I’ve seen some great, last-second wins – the Irish pulled a few out my senior year, but in the middle of a 5-7 year, it’s hard to get excited about them. Likewise the OT thriller my first year out – against fucking Air Force. I’ve never seen a playoff game that didn’t involve the Goat Fuckers, and they won the World Series game I saw. (To go up 3-2 on Arizona, O’Neill and Brosius’s last games, a great game that was the second night in a row that BK Kim gave up homers to blow the game.. But I can’t say I particularly enjoyed it, because I had to filter out of the stadium with 55,000 mouthbreathers.) So I’m going to say the best game I’ve ever seen live was actually a completely nondescript 35-0 pantsing of Purdue by the Irish. It was the first game of my freshman year, and Allen Rossum returned the opening kickoff for a touchdown. The Irish were 2-0 and rolling and stacked with talent, and it all seemed possible – a title my freshman year, maybe another one before I graduated, Lou getting the career wins mark at ND. Of course, my second home game, we got whumped by Ohio State, with their dickweed fans rushing the field and pushing around our band dorks (our *band dorks*, for God’s sake!), Lou was forced out, we hired Bob fucking Davie, recruiting tanked, and the next eight years of Irish football sucked. But for those brief four hours in early September of ’96, about a dozen freshman boys were reveling in the glory of it all, jumping up and down in so much joy that we shattered the bench below us and hoisted it like a prize trophy kill. (How fucking stupid was Bob Davie? He was the DC of that ’96 team, and he hired the head coach of that ’96 Purdue team to be his OC. THE TEAM THAT ND BEAT 35-0. Bob Davie doesn’t get enough credit for creating the recent successful Purdue teams – they never would’ve fired Coletto and never would’ve hired the moderately competent Joe Tiller had Davie not made such a canny personnel choice. Moran, moran, moran.)

(Speaking of the Irish - which will probably pick up a lot right after Harry drops - great closing line from the Robot Genius here.)

I don't know if I've ever felt less confident in a team with an eight-game lead as I do the Sox right now.

And that's what I've got right now.

bullfrog

todd -- Wednesday, July 18 2007, 07:50 am

The best game I've ever seen live: 1993 FSU/ND. #1 vs. #2, an excessive amount of hype and a game that lived up to it. The Seminoles were supposed to be the best team ever and we pretty much manhandled them. Plus my date was hot as hell.

We don't talk about the following week. Ever.

I kind of hate you, Todd. But it's a good, jealous hate - not the Verizon kid hate.

Funny thing at the coffee cart just now, my guy was bitching to me about the guy in front of me - something about his tea order and the amount of sugar and lemon and milk or something. I couldn't really follow, but I got the impression that the cart guy resented the method in which the tea guy ordered his tea, or something about the order itself. Of course, he got my order wrong while doing all this, giving me a medium instead of a small. But on the other hand, now I have more coffee.

Fuck yes, the triumphant return of Smoove B!

http://www.theonion.com/content/columnists/girl_that_man_aint_right_for

So, looks like Vick is having a bad week. What a sicko - hosing down the losing dog and electrocuting it.

Oh my God, Smoove has an entire sweet-ass homepage.

http://homepages.theonion.com/PersonalPages/sB/index.php

Heard about it, didn't read it, E. Good thing the Falcons traded away Schaub over the off-season. Have fun, Bobby Petrino!

I'm so tired of all of these people who are claiming to have an early copy of HP and are posting it on the web and then the news sites are reporting on it. Why is ruining the experience something they are competing to do??? I swear, if a single news channel ruins the book for me I'm going to...I don't know, something incredibly effective...like write a scathing letter.

okay, rant over.

Geez, you really want your co-defendants to go by "Funk," "Q," and "T."

Don’t get me started, MNP. All those people (like our very own CK!) working hard to keep the ending a secret and this jerkwad has to spoil the fun and now half the internets has read the whole book. I guess it was inevitable, but still.

And the best game I’ve ever seen live wasn’t baseball, surprisingly: it was the 1997 Mizzou/Nebraska game. It had a sad ending (Mizzou ended up losing to the Huskers for the 20th year in a row, and Nebraska ended up getting the national championship anyway) but man, I’ve never experienced a game like that. I remember thinking, “no wonder people love football so much!”

i love love love smoove b, as you well know, j. my favorite recipe is green beans for two.

damn.

No way, man, the chimichangas recipe. "Smoove time is a good time."

hehe -- simpsons stuff: http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/film/2007/07/homer_erectus.html

I'm especially annoyed at all those people who are just posting "X dies on p. XXX" on fansites and spoiler sites -- not saying that any of them are RIGHT, but even if they were, what a stupid way to read a book, just for the facts of who dies and not for the meaning of their deaths or the context or the amazing storytelling around them. And there is some really amazing storytelling going on in this book -- some scenes that break your heart, some that take your breath away, and some that make you stand up and cheer -- or all three. Pfftbbt to all those dumb people who miss that in the reading.

(Also, some commenters on Mugglenet called me ugly! Another reason to start a vendetta . . . ;-) )

Hey, it's Rossum's return I was talking about.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QwXogNsgZV8

We were in the end zone he was running away from - I think the guy at the 50 who's facing the wrong way was the closest any Purdue player ever got to him.

I never got that far in the Mugglenet comments, but I'll happily gut them for you. About fifteen comments in, some dickweed started posting all-cap "spoilers," so I decided I can't go there any more.

And now I'm just watching Irish highlights on YouTube. Man, it doesn't even look like Rocket bothered to hit top speed on this return against Miami.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pT9xW8fnj8I

Oh yuck! What *is* the joy in spoiling the experience of a story for everyone else? I mean honestly, the people that are busying themselves trying to find out who dies on what page can't possibly be interested in reading--so what is their motivation?

I can't believe that comment on Mugglenet. Absolutely gross and untrue and really just stupid and unfounded. What are we in 5th grade? I'm sorry on behalf of that idiot.

People have been saying that if you're going to a midnight purchase bring earplugs to protect yourself against the spoilsports. I mean honestly...!

Exactly, CK – I want to GASP when I read the book, and no one is allowed to take that away from me! Totally avoiding Harry Potter google searches for the next few days, and I’m also going to bring headphones to the bookstore with me on Friday night.

SPOILSPORTS!

I'm going to call this the "Fox News effect" of promoting people to be loud assholes. I can't say what I'll do to someone if they're shouting spoilers at midnight and I can't get my hands on them.

CK -- you are NOT ugly! Jerkwads. Anyone who dares to say that on Mugglenet obviously comes from the Dork Ages and I'm gonna get all medieval on their ass. That's all.

Poor Pete!

i watched all the youtube clips of zbikowski and the rocket, and now i'm sitting here all weepy-eyed and nostalgic. all those amazing plays, and no obnoxious celebration. what class.

ktbb's outburst of righteous indignation leads me to believe that she is a much more level-headed person than I.

Back to the ND YouTubes briefly... watch the 8:33 Rocket montage... phenomenal.

I didn't even have the sound on and I got goosebumps.

I love that Rocket montage. Ty Detmer? Are you kidding me?! Ty freaking Detmer.

CK-I know you can't confirm or deny so don't feel you need to respond, but the NY Times showed a thumbnail view of the frontispiece of that book that was photographed (I won't look at it any closer)...and it doesn't look good.

With that many people downloading that sucker, I'm not going anywhere near a Barnes and Noble until I've finished the book.

Small independent bookseller here I come. Extra ten dollars be damned!

15: I was at the 5th down game between Missouri and Colorado. The buffalo fans were drunk for a whole week after that. I wish I was at the 2003 Missouri vs. Nebraska game when Missouri beat Nebraska after that. Posters, t-shirts and the like sold out quickly an hour after the game. I was lucky to get T-shirts afterward as a nice Christmas present to my dad and my aunts, all three were alumni of the place, and one in particular has an extreme hatred of all things Nebraska.

Man, I feel sorry for Arthur Blank. There's nothing more vicious than ASPCA people on your ass.

I remember my asshole friend Bay after the kicking-the-ball game - he was a Mizzou fan and was so depressed, I almost felt for him.

Every single e-mail Tree's ever forwarded me from Bay since then has long erased any empathy, though.

WHY would you want to read a maybe-fake downloaded copy? oh, GRR.

Thank goodness there are so many sane people out there (and that Bullfrog knows them all) who still love to read for how transporting and exciting it can be.

Speaking of Mizzou football:

http://thewizardofodds.blogspot.com/2007/07/missouri-unleashed.html

I agree with you Bullfrog that that punt return in the opening seconds of our first ever ND game as freshman will always be carved into my memorty. My friends and I (being not too savy and girls), had poor seats way up high in the Freshman section. We all had the shirt on. I probably knew the most about football in that group, which is scary. But still, when Rossum ran for a touchdown, we all knew what ND football meant. (Or at least, what it used to mean - before the Davie era). Talking about it reminds me of Candlelight dinner at North Dining hall after the games.

Revoltingness and hilarity ensue in DC:

http://www.washcp.com/display.php?id=2008&comments=show

Pfff. North Dining Hall sucked.

South Quad holla!

That just reminded me of when south dining hall was getting remodeled and they had to import hot pockets. god that sucked.

Oh, man. I ate chicken patties every meal for a semester. That was brutal.

The shittiness of North Dining Hall cannot be overstated.

I am above getting into an argument about which dining hall was better.

Don't forget NDH got its microwave privleges revoked at one point.

Suck it, KT.

Comment to yesterday:

Hell yeah, link to Slate.

Hell yeah, link to Pat's former employer, Time.com.

Hell yeah, link that Pat found.

For the record, "Your ass is about to get its own ass handed to it" was my favorite, but "CTRL ALT DESTROY" is probably just as awesome.

Thank you, that is all.

OK, that wasn't all. I've heard about that DC list before, mostly on Wonkette, and while I think we all know people like this, web debauchery like that is going to bite these guys in the ass by the time people from our generation are old enough to be corrupt Republican politicians. "But George W. did coke," you say. There isn't a downloadable record of him doing it and describing it in graphic detail, however. And yeah, they can go all religious on you and say they've changed, but no level of crying on future compuTV about Jesus is going to explain away phrases like "You like that Republican c*ck?"

So take some comfort in the fact that it will be a lot harder for Dad's money to make this stuff go away in the future. It is inevitable, however, that most of them will end up in positions of power. Let's not kid ourselves about the normal fate of rich shitheads.

I know, Pat, I know. It's why I wish I could believe in Hell.

Read through the comments of that article, folks, if you want a larf. One of the best was something like, "I already know people who have gotten in trouble because of this article. One of my friends had to have a talk with her parents because of it." Yeah, that's trouble, alright.

I just read that alternate list of movie liners. Fuck me, that's funny.