Comic for Thursday, June 21st, 2007

Posted: 7:05 am, Thursday, June 21st

My softball team lost 23-1 last night. It would've been 23-2, but I got thrown out trying to stretch a double out of leadoff in the first inning - I assumed that the team we were playing had the same basic awareness level as our team, and with the shortstop and second baseman both pursuing my bloop single, I never thought the third baseman would actually cover second. The fact that he did actually let us know what a long night we were in for. This team was absurd. I'm not sure how we're consider to be in the same division. We played at the diamond under the 59th Street Bridge (feelin' groovy), and they actually hit balls over the fence, to dead center. That's an easy 300, 350 feet. In slow pitch softball. I didn't think physics allowed that. I was playing a deep, deep center, and no one hit it to me all night. I think if we had played the Devil Rays, it would've been closer.

So! Also on baseball, and I should probably just e-mail 15 with this, but: When did the Cards get Kelly Stinnet? He was a Sox prospect a long time ago.

Shit, is today the longest day of the year? Awesome. And yeeeeeha, blushing in the strip! It'll never stop. Ever.

I continue to heart Icky Thump, in case anyone cares.

Honestly, seven years ago, I would've happily left my life in the hands of the Supreme Court. Something about them just seemed so honorable and untouchable. Like they were a bunch of Vulcans up there running the show, you know? And now one of them brings up Jack Bauer in defense of Gitmo. I'll give you a hint as to which justice it was: It rhymes with "Scalia." Honeslty, I can't believe that happened.

The two principle owners of the Sox showed up at my favorite bar on Tuesday night. Since it's a Sox bar in New York, I am so completely shocked to hell and back that they didn't fucking buy the bar a round, I can't even really put it into words. YOU OWN THE RED SOX. You go to a Sox bar in the heart of enemy territoy - an extremely reasonably priced bar, given the location in New York, I may add - and you don't buy a round? This totally explains why I can't afford to see games at Fenway any more.

The recently wed and horribly ignored-in-this-space AD had a link to this knitting site the other day/month, and since I know I have some yarnmeisters in the room, I thought I m'ise well link to it. Also, congrats on the weddin', AD. I've been meaning to mention it for quite a while.

Has everyone seen how much the internet weighs? This is wild.

Why? Everyone knows he's a robot.

The final (probably) Mermaid Parade is this weekend. I've never been to one, so I'm damn sure going to be at this one. I may've accidentally told my boss to bring her 3-year old to the parade. Has anyone actually ever been to this thing? Am I going to get fired on Monday? Should I correct myself, to prevent the child from seeing the Mermaid Parade?

At first, the two stories made me kind of laugh and say, "Ha, serves you fucking right, assholes!" But then I realized I'm laughing at uninsured Ohioans and battered domestic partners, not necessarily the people writing gay couples out of legal protection. God dammit, I hate it when I can't laugh at hateful morans. I guess the real lesson here is that gay people = OK, and for fuck's sake, quit being narrow-minded bullies who withhold equal rights for no reason other than it makes you feel superior. I guess I'm addressing various state legislatures right now, I don't really know.

Pajiba runs these awesome afternoon comment diversions every once in a while, and a few weeks ago, ran one about everyone's favorite books. They culled the results to come up with our generation's greatest books. I'm kind of in awe of the list, and would love to know how I found this site, because it seems to be populated with a lot of people who - if their musical, reading, and movie-viewing habits are any indication - reaffirm my faith in humanity. Anyway, the best book list, from #15 up to #1 (excluding nonfic and Harry Potter, and only one work per author, as per the ground rules of the exercise):

Black Swan Green - I read this back around Christmas. Freaking brilliant. Seriously, best book I've read in a long time. I think Cloud Atlas is a greater display of literary prowess, but there's something so incredibly awesome about Black Swan Green... It's like Mitchell limited his spectrum just so he could ace every single aspect of the book. If you haven't read this - and probably not many of you have, I don't think it was much of a best-seller - you're doing yourself a disservice. I can't praise this book highly enough.
The Lovely Bones - Dunno.
The Kite Runner - I've seen a ton of people reading this on the subway, dunno.
The Corrections - Honestly, I loved it for 400 pages, and then it ran about 600. Skt said it best, "Only a man would think he's this interesting."
Geek Love: Dunno.
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius - This holds a special place in my heart, because 2.0 and I chatted about this book for a long time the night we first got together (read: made out in a bar). Given the knock-offs it has spawned, and Pajiba's own recognizing that it probably gave rise to the blog, I kind of think it should be in the top three. Just a great, great book.
Fight Club - I've only ever read Choke of Palahniuk's stuff, but Fight Club the movie is just freaking brilliant. And it's hard to remember that it was a total box-office bomb when it first came out.
Everything is Illuminated - Never would've happened without Heartbreaking, I don't think. Safran Foer is kind of Pearl Jam to Eggers' Nirvana. Awesome in a similar-yet-different sort of way, but probably never would've hit it big without someone paving the way.
Me Talk Pretty One Day - Is this a novel? Really? I thought it was an essay collection. I've read some Sedaris, and have always enjoyed him, but I've yet to read one of his big collections. I guess it's my fault.
The Time Traveler's Wife - CK has told me I should read this. That means I should totally read this. I don't think CK's ever guided me down the wrong path with a book.
His Dark Materials - I have never even heard of this.
Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch - Nor this. Where the hell do I hang out? What's going on?
High Fidelity - Errr... I dunno. Fever Pitch is by far the best thing Hornsby's ever written, and I'd even rate About a Boy above High Fidelity. But I still can't argue this one too much.
The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay - I still can't believe this book got published, let alone won a Pulitzer, and especially let alone gained wide popular acclaim. I just cannot conceive that a novel revolving around golden age comics was a mainstream hit. It boggles my mind. It's like a book written specifically for me, and yet it was a huge hit. Honestly, I don't get it.
Middlesex - I hear great things, but I've never read it. Is it good?

Whoo, long-winded. I should lose 23-1 at softball more often. (No, I shouldn't.)

bullfrog

MNP -- Thursday, June 21 2007, 08:23 am

Bullfrog, I enthusiastically 2nd CK on Time Travelers Wife. Simply freaking amazing book. I'm waiting for the author to write something else, but it sure is taking a while. any inside knowledge, CK?

Oh, Kite Runner is quite good too. definitely worth a read. and a great book club book if anyone is looking for one.

I have a geek crush on Dave Eggers. We went to a reading and I totally choked asking him to sign a notebook I had with me. I still cringe at the thought of it.

Yeah, ouch.

Oh my LORD, YOU'VE NEVER READ HIS DARK MATERIALS? You would LOVE His Dark Materials. This is the trilogy that starts with THE GOLDEN COMPASS -- the second book is THE SUBTLE KNIFE, the third THE AMBER SPYGLASS, all by Philip Pullman. The imagination and depth of thinking in them is incredible, and the writing -- I think I threw THE SUBTLE KNIFE across the room at one point because I physically couldn't take the tension. And then I ran across the room, picked it up again, and kept reading. Lots of classical references for you to hunt out, very thought-provoking (if sometimes shallower than it should be) take on modern religion, and ARMORED TALKING POLAR BEARS DOING BATTLE. It's awesome. They're the only books I'd compare for sheer imagination and MUST-READ-NOW to Harry Potter. Seriously, buy all three and clear your schedule. (I'd lend you mine, but I lent them to someone else and then lost them, bah.)

Back me up on this, ktbb.

And THE TIME-TRAVELER'S WIFE -- sorry, MNP, no clue. She's a paper artist and did a little illustrated storybook a year or two ago, but I heard it took her a long time to write TTW and so she's probably not coming out with anything else for awhile.

GOOD OMENS is a Neil Gaiman collaboration with Terry Pratchett. I've never read it either.

Also: JONATHAN STRANGE AND MR. NORRELL. Kinda slow beginning, but after that, love it love it love it.

Oh! I've heard of the Golden Compass. I don't think I knew the trilogy had a name. Alright, I'll check them out, but probably after Harry Potter comes out - want to keep the mind clear for that. I am definitely interested in armored talking polar bears, though. (Saw one on the movie poster for Golden Compass the other day. It was hanging next to Paul Giamatti's upcoming "Fred Claus." Evidently, he decided he had been getting too much credit for his role selection, and is now playing Santa's deadbeat brother. God.)

I think the only Gaiman I've ever read was a few stray issues of Sandman and the issue of Spawn he wrote back in '94 or so.

Middlesex is good, once you get past the incest. I had to put it down after the first 50 pages or so and just take a break and open my mind. I really liked it when I picked it up again. I thought it was much better than the Virgin Suicides.

REALLY REALLY backing CK up on HIS DARK MATERIALS. Read it quick, too, before they come out with the movie of it (which said movie crew is right outside my window facing onto the Bodleian Library, where they have told everyone to remove their bicycles, because they'll get in the way of the movie shot. Stupid students.) But read it quick so you get the wonderful, wonderful characters and places and story into your head before the movie gets in.

You can also call it 'an anti-Paradise Lost and the death of God, retold for kids,' where the coming to knowledge is a GOOD thing. Those people burning Harry Potter don't know what kind of target they're missing. Good, clean, subversive fun.

Giamatti is Santa Claus - Vince Vaughn is the deadbeat brother, methinks.

Love the time traveler's wife! I got my copy signed and the author told me her next book had a villain named Julia in it. I got very excited.

Isn’t the dark materials series the one with demons sitting on your shoulder and someone has their demon ripped away or something? I listened to the audiobook and HATED it, although sometimes if the reader is bad they can really ruin a good story. Audiobooks are dicey that way, for sure.

I’m loving this book discussion!

Oh and Kelly Stinnett only came to the cards within the last month or so. When Yadi Molina got injured we needed a new backup catcher.

Dammit, Tree, you're totally right. Well, still. What's Giamatti doing? I thought he got out of this sort of thing with that flick with Frankie Muniz in it.

Oh, right, I think I had like.. a wombat or something for my daemon. It was on CK's blog a month or two back.

Yooooooooooooo whatsssssssssssssss upppppppppppppp??? How you livin playa?? Happy Bday to you a little early. Let me tell you how it feels to be 29...it is rough. I am working for a company that distributes Heinken and Amstel Light. Not a bad gig! I have to get some time under my belt before I make serious moves out there, but the time is coming. I will talk to you soon. Hit me up at [REDACTED BY MANAGEMENT].

I think most of the bawdier aspects of the Mermaid parade will go over a three year old's head. There will be pasties, coconut bras, some thematically off-color costumes, but for the most part it's people dressed as mermaids and mermen.

I'll be the asshole of the group. I did not like his dark materials (thought it's been a few years since I read it and I only read the first one). I kind of want to re-read it just to make sure.

I thought TTW was a great idea, but the writing was weak.

But I am all sorts of snob, so, take it with a grain of salt.

And maybe I'm misremembering this, but I thought Black Swan Green ended kind of abruptly. And I thought Cloud Atlas was uneven.

And now I'll pee on my own parade. Uh, my car is dirty. Take that!

Wow! I've read 10 of the 15 (and saw Fight Club).

I really liked TTW. We discussed at book club and everyone else who liked it hated it by the end of the conversation. I will agree with Grafe that it has some poor writing.

Kite Runner - really is a great read.

Middlesex - I liked it! People I have recommended it to liked it. Oprah just made it her bookclub book. GRRRR.

I disagree on HWOSG and couldn't even finish YOu Shall Know your Velocity.

Lovely Bones was a good story - I read it so long ago that I don't remember the writing very well.

e, why are you upset that Oprah just made it her bookclub book? A lot of people don't like her, but she picked a Cormac McCarthy book about a post-apocalyptic world and cannibalism -- it's not like she always makes easy or popular choices.

Also: Zadie Smith, ON BEAUTY. 2.0, I'd love to hear what you think about its take on art and academia.

I suppose Black Swan Green did end abruptly, but I'm not really sure how it wouldn't - it was pretty open-ended from the get go. And I'll agree that Cloud Atlas was uneven at points, but I thought the highs were enough to even it out.

E, that's because you have no soul.

Lovely Bones is supposedly going to be Peter Jackson's next film project, I think.

Didn't Oprah make the collected works of Faulkner her book club a few summers ago? Man, I was having the hardest time with The Sound and the Fury six years ago. And then I bought the PS2 and just gave up completely.

Hello to my cousin Joe. I'm going to pull your e-mail address from the site just so you don't get spammed, man, but I'll drop you a line over the weekend. Happy birfday to you, as well, older-than-me-by-nine-days guy.

Lovely bones reminded me of Christopher Pike.

I actually liked Sound and the Fury. I got a lot more out of it this time than when I read it in high school.

Ugh, I recently tried to get through Cormac McCarthy's "Blood Meridian". Just couldn't finish it, but I do want to read "The Road".

I've been meaning to give Sound and the Fury another shot ever since I gave it up the first time. Just the PS2 was so damned new and *shiny*.

Shoot. Should I read On Beauty? I've picked it up and put it down a hundred times at the bookstore. When it first came out I think I was writing my thesis, and since I have been giving my brain a post graduate nap.

I am in the market for something to read...do you have a copy I can borrow? I promise to return it.

[REDACTED BY MANAGEMENT]

definitely give the sound and the fury another try. i've always liked it, though i'm not exactly sure why - it's always one of the titles that i mention when people say, "oh, you're an english teacher? what's your favorite book?" cause, sure, i could narrow it down to one, no problem...

Submitted without comment:

I'm listening to the Texas feed of a ballgame right now, and they just had an ad to stop smoking near your baby. The husband in the ad actually goes, "Wow! I didn't know smoking could hurt our baby! I'm going to stop right away!"

Oh please!

I think I still go with the Brothers Karamazov, personally. I love that book.

and i also recommend the chapter called "you can't fuck with the rooster" in me talk pretty one day. could be one of sedaris' best stories ever, though i usually leave that one out when students ask me what kind of stories i like.

Definitely make time to read Good Omens. It's one of those books that I go back and reread every few years and still find funny.

I third or fourth or fifth the recommendations on "Time Traveler's Wife", although by now it is probably over-hyped in your mind and won't live up to its reputation.

Some of my other favorite books are "The Poisonwood Bible", by Barbara Kingsolver (clueless missionary family goes to try to "save" the natives in Africa), "The Mysterious Island" by Jules Verne (read it countless times now, used to have an obsession with 'stuck on a deserted island' books), "Moonlight on the Avenue of Faith" or "Cry of the Peacock" by Gina B. Nahai, "Villette" by Charlotte Bronte and most anything by Isabelle Allende.

I couldn't finish "Geek Love", although it's referenced a lot in popular culture. Really really like "Middlesex", too. "Me Talk Pretty One Day" is funny, but I can't necessarily see it being someone's favorite book.

That's the end to my two cents...

I've heard of like none of your books, KT.

I like Jane Eyre a whole a lot, but that's the only of either Brontes that I've read.

Oh, speaking of the Victorians, CK, I think I saw on your site that you picked up a Wilkie Collins recently, but I can't remember if it was the Moonstone or the Woman in White - I really liked the Moonstone. I liked the Woman in White, too, but if you read one, you've more or less read them both, and the Moonstone was the better of the two, I thought.

Is anyone else a Saramago fan? I love his stuff.

The Rockies' announcer's home run call is "touch 'em all time for [name of player]." Non mi piace.

Well at first I didn't like Oprah's selection because she had such an agenda and wasn't picking great books. Now she picks classics and acts like she discovered them. Hello, Of Mice and Men was well known before the Oprah dynasty got it. I shouldn't be so critical if she is getting people to read *good* books, though.

I also liked Poisonwood Bible (I forgot about that one). I first read The Sound and the Fury with Cliff's notes next to me as a logistical guide. I think it helped me enjoy the book.

For all time favorites, I still like Watership Down and The Sun Also Rises.

The Sun Also Rises has one of the best final lines ever. "Isn't it pretty to think so?" God, I love that.

My mom is a fan of the Moonstone and the Woman in White...they're in my line of books to read.

Bullfrog - don't worry, most of the books I read are historical fiction with a female protagonist, so if that's not your thing, I wouldn't expect you to know them. But "Mysterious Island"? That is a great one. Instead of just making, like, treehouses, these dudes set up a whole colony - domesticate the animals, make steel out of the natural resources they find, have multiple forts - it's sweet.

Also, for anyone who like Pirate themed books, I highly recommend "A High Wind in Jamaica" by Richard Hughes. It's basically about a group of children whom these pirates inadvertantly capture, and then don't know what to do with. The children are so used to being ordered around by adults and adapting to new situations that they adjust readily to pirate life.

yeah - geek love... the bizareness got tiring after a while and i just wanted to finish the book because i had invested myself in 300 pages

This thread makes me sad... I used to have so much time to read.

About the only relevant thing I can add (since the mention of Watership Down) is that in High School our small Catholic school would play non-conference games against the bigger public schools and get killed.

We took solace in the fact that we could yell "Silflay hraka." at the public school kids and they had NO idea what we were saying.... look it up.

Figures I miss both the coolest conversation, and a shout-out because I'm teaching middle school kids and taking a class this summer. And I haven't updated my blog in, like, forever.

And the wedding was great... totally worth the effort of planning it.