Comic for Tuesday, May 22nd, 2007

Posted: 7:18 am, Tuesday, May 22nd

I probably should've put a picture of Che or something behind Jen, there, but I kind of favor Soviet propaganda art. And of course I didn't write this one far enough in advance to actually have a dance t-shirt on Ron. Oh well.

I'm evidently getting sent to Purgatory, which is good to know. Purgatory, of course, is a mountain of seven levels in which the penitent ascend, purging each of the Seven Deadly Sins until they get to the Garden of Eden up top, and then get to go onto Heaven. I forget the exact structure of Purgatory - I've been thinking of rereading the Divine Comedy lately, maybe this will push me further on that path - but I think it's like the first three levels ("terraces," I think it gets translated) are a deficit of love, then sloth, then too much love. And I'm just talking. Sorry. Anyway, the breakdown of my afterlife:

I'm listening to the Sox game right now - jeez, this went south fast. Rally, sons! Also, I am already incredibly sick of hearing the Foxwoods ads on the radio this season. For some reason, they got rid of their awesome, legendary jazz theme song, and now have two poker "stars" talking about monsters in the poker room. Awful.

I haven't been reading McSweeney's that frequently lately, but, man, this Piano Man thing damn near killed me.

We just watched Jacques Pepin's fast food, uh, his way. Very elaborate site for PBS, nice and frustrating to get the recipes from. Oh, which reminds me, for a few years there I subscribed to Gourmet. Most of the recipes were overly complicated and involved a bunch of ingredients I could never really envision myself taking the time to gather, so I eventually canceled the subscription. And now our bookshelves are overflowing because I'm a packrat. So I recently went through the twenty-four (I guess) issues that I had and ripped out all the recipes that it looked like I may someday actually have the patience to make, and I've decided that I'm going to try and make one of them a week. So once a week, Five Bucks will be a bit of a food blog, I guess. Always lookin' for content, I yam.

Man, there are some crazy-ass fish on the Times site right now. Awesome. Don't miss the slideshow.

New National album comes out today. Alligator was really pretty good. I don't know really how to characterize their music, so I'm going to say it's a good soundtrack to the depressing part of Middle America. Their music could in fact be something else entirely, but that's what it strikes me as. We're seeing them in a few weeks, and I've heard mixed things about their live show, but I'm looking forward to it anyway. I'll let you know if it's more rockin' than the Wilco album from last week.

bullfrog

Bullfrog -- Tuesday, May 22 2007, 08:57 am

I'm putting this GTAIV news up just to play with 2.0's head. I have no interest in a duffel.

http://kotaku.com/gaming/now-with-more-theft/gta-iv-special-expensive-edition-revealed-262314.php

Whoa, Dr. Laura! Raisin' a psychopath! Good work.

http://www.sltrib.com/ci_5934072

Eh, Dr. Laura still isn't on speaking terms with her own mother, so I'm not surprised. Maybe she should go on Dr. Phil to straighten her kids out.

Didn't some group of Vatican groupies declare that Limbo doesn't exist anymore, or it has no purpose or something like that?

Purgatory, if my Dante is correct, is something like a Aztec step-pyramid shaped mountain that burns with fire the closer you get to heaven. And hell is an inverted screw that gets colder and narrower as you get closer to the bottom of the pit.

Yeah, hell was a pit created by Lucifer's fall from Heaven, and Mount Purgatory is basically the displaced earth of the pit of Hell, pushed through the other side of the planet.

And the Vatican did just rule last month or so that unbaptized babies can go to Heaven instead of Limbo. I don't know if they extended that ruling down to virtuous non-believers, though. Most of the population of the first circle are, like, Plato and Aristotle and Homer. Late greats that came before Christ.

i am pretty sure that we don't believe in limbo any more, which is confusing to me, but i think that was the buzz a few years back. (woo hoo, Catholic education. we're really up on the state of our beliefs here.) so, i am all a-twitter - where AM i going? i had planned to meet some friends down there, have a few, reflect on an eternity of penitence. now that's all shot to hell.

any ideas on why would we believe and then not believe in limbo? what changed? or am i totally wrong?

Bullfrog -

When I did that survey, I'm going to Level Two.

Is it sad that I remember The Malebolgia more from Spawn than the Divine Comedy... I'm with you, I should re-read Dante's work.

Should I be concerned that Level 6 is a given for me, Level 7 is high, Level 8 is very high and Level 9 is high?

This seems problematic.

Never mind...despite all that, I'm only going to Level 2. Huzzah.

You say that as if level 2 is not as bad as level 9. It's kind of like thinking you're working at the best department of the whole Wal-Mart Supercenter.

Islam has a very interesting concept of Hell: different levels for every religion there is, but the bottom level is reserved for all traitors of all religions, all the while those in Heaven are just simply looking down and laughing at them while Houris are serving them.

What treachery have you partaken in, Tree? This worries me.

Why not?

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28898

I've been a bad, bad girl.

I am embarrassed to release my scores to the public...

Bullfrog -

I didn't know you were marrying Fiona Apple....

More like Salome

Woohoo! Level 6 for me.

So, you have Bullfrog's head on a platter?

Strangely enough, I'm heading to Puragatory, or at the worst, Limbo. That reminds me, I hated playing Limbo in junior high or high school, especially at roller skating rinks. And there would always be one girl who could limber below the narrowest limbo bar setting. While skating. Double-jointed freaks of nature...

I was pretty good at limbo on skates because I was pretty undersized through tenth grade or so, and also liked Spider-man, so, being the absolute dork that I am, I'd practice contorting myself into MacFarlane-era Spider-man positions.

I was an only child in the woods, I didn't have much to do.

Level 6 - welcome to Dis! Nice! I've always wanted to hang with the Furies.

Zero

No, just your average everyday lustful, wrathful, heretic.

Level 2 for me -- damn that lust one :)

Well, I guess since I have company I can disclose the fact that I'm going to Level 6. See you guys there! I was also "High" for Level's 1 and 3.

I mean seriously, what's wrong with having someone offed in return for money and power...I demand a recount. I cannot abide only being at Level 2.

Congrats to all Level 6er's.

3? Gluttonous? KT, you would be the last person to pop into my mind when I think of a glutton.

Not to completely change subjects but the McSweeney's Piano Man piece is friggin' hysterical....

I've always wondered what the hell (see, it sorta ties) a "Real Estate Novelist" would be.....

Wow, 2nd Circle. Not good. At least I can hang with Helen of Troy.

Isn't Ulysses at the 8th level? The raunchy tales he could tell...

Yeah. He was always one of the harder ones to figure out for me.

I think almost all of modern humanity would be sent to the 2nd Circle. It's important to keep in mind that Dante was of the chivalrous-love school. In Vita Nouva, he faints several times when confronted with Beatrice.