Comic for Thursday, May 10th, 2007

Posted: 7:30 am, Thursday, May 10th

I own at MegaTouch 4000, just so you know. The QB Challenge? That's my wheelhouse.

We got absolutely schooled at softball last night, and I only went 2-for-4, breaking up my 1.000 season. I'm probably somewhere in the .800s right now, and there's a dude ahead of me on the team, which drives me nuts. I totally effed up my shoulder playing volleyball the night before - thank God I caught most of the balls they hit to me, because I couldn't've thrown anyone out at third to save my life last night, let alone home.

Nice talkin' by Lissa, by the way.

I just can't even discuss this. You'd think one of his handlers would tell Shitwit, "Maybe accepting a purple heart from a guy who actually served in 'Nam is a bad idea. What with your not even serving in the Air National Guard and all. Remember that? Oh, no? You were rocked off your ass on Bolivian marching powder at the time? Yeah, seriously, you should just tell this guy you have a thing to go to in Europe for the next few years." Honestly, I think it might be that Rove is actively advising him to just fuck with us lefties for the next two years. "Oh, do this, George. It will drive them *nuts.*" I hope that's the case, anyway. I'm also going to go out on a limb and bet that Bill Thomas does not read very much. Just a hunch.

Completely off-topic, man, Tony Rice was the man. I can't believe Eric Crouch won a Heisman and Rice never did.

Protect that ball at the 47 second mark, Tony. But I love the way he throws his arms up after running for a score, like he's throwing up a drag chute. Awesome.

I told 2.0 about this the other day, and this isn’t the original site I saw it on, but I think it’s disgusting what they did to Emma Watson. What is she, 16? And it's not like *anyone* is going to see Harry Potter 5 to ogle Emma Watson. (Well, not for the sole purpose of ogling Emma Watson, anyway.)

By the way, I like the name Emma. (Is Emma short for something? I have no idea.)

OK, so I was listening to the Mets-Giants game yesterday on 660 WFAN. WFAN, for non-NYers, used to be the flagship station of Imus. So, they've got a big gaping hole right now. During the Mets game - and I haven't been listening to the Mets much recently, so I don't know if this has been going on for very long - they say, "And tune in tomorrow for Geraldo Rivera!" Who is about the worst guy to host a morning talk show I can think of, but, evidently. So! Made me think of a story! (I know. You're thinking, "Bullfrog? Think of a long-winded story with seemingly no provocation? The hell!") Alright, up 'til three years ago or so, my office was located in the same building as Fox News Channel world HQ. 'Twas maybe April of '03 or so... I was in a foul, foul mood leaving the office (as is often the case - for a straight year, I sang Blink-182's Dysentery Gary to myself as I left the office, with the line, "Fuck this place, I lost the war; I hate you all, your mom's a whore," but, seriously, I'm like *really* mature). I get into the elevator, there's some people in it, and I just do an immediate 180 to ignore them. This is pre-iPod era for me, so I can still hear these two. There's a girl, who makes some uh-huh sound of tolerance of a guy's conversation, and the guy is saying something with an exagerated sense of machismo, "Well, when *I* was in Afghanistan," or some nonsense like that. So I think to myself, "who is this wanker talking to this girl?" and I turn around to find myself about a foot away from Mr. Geraldo Rivera himself. And I do a kind of snort-laugh right in his face. Because it's so pathetic! He'd just been kicked out of Afghanistan! And he's using it as a line to pick this girl up! Thankfully, the elevator was very fast, and we got to the ground floor pretty quickly. So I ran out of the elevator and started cracking up immediately, and called Sweaty to tell him that I'd laughed in Geraldo's face. It was kind of a highlight.

bullfrog

Bullfrog -- Thursday, May 10 2007, 10:00 am

And we're back! I don't know what was going on for a second there.

Man, I had forgotten the part of the part about Geraldo trying to pick up some girl in the elevator. You must admit, he does have a top 5 stache. If you're a big fan of the 70s that is.

Have Geraldo and Wannstadt ever been photographed together?

Watch the blocking in that video... can't wait until we get the O-Line back to mauling like that.

Awesome Geraldo story. Watching that Geraldo - O'Reilly shouting match over immigration, in which I found myself agreeing with Geraldo, really proves that if I'll side with Geraldo Rivera, Billy O is one loathsome dude.

I think Geraldo gets kind of a raw deal. The guy is a fairly decent journalist when he isnt outing transvestites. Regardless, good call with Wannstadt. 9 days till departure...

I think he's his own worst enemy. I think he could be a good journalist, if only he could reel in his raging egomania. Maybe. Maybe not, though.

I had multiple encounters with O'Reilly in the elevator, too, but he's like six-four or something, so I mostly just gawked at how splotchy he is. His make-up people really do a good job.

You say Geraldo's name and things start to fall apart. Like this website or his television shows. I saw a documentary he made with his sons when they went sailing; the guy has got more tattoos than you'd find with most truckers or sailors.

By the way, Megatouch is up to like wacky gem names like Sapphire and Emerald or is dated, like Megatouch 2007.5 (which I have no idea what it's suppose to mean by that .5 addendum). Really like it's Texas Hold 'Em game.

I'm pretty sure Emma is short for Emmaline, or Emmanueline. Or another way of saying Rebecca. Of course, these days, spelling counts for nothing when it comes to naming your kid.