Comic for Monday, April 30th, 2007

Posted: 7:15 am, Monday, April 30th

Greetings and welcome to the week, crowd. Hope you had a good weekend. Ours started out swimmingly. After I collected Sweaty from Penn Station after work, I handed him over to our stealthy friend to go investigate a dinner club that they report back to me I would've hated. This is good, because instead of this dinner club, 2.0 and I went to Professor Thom's, which I am willing to appoint my favorite bar ever. Cheap food, decent drink specials, completely and totally flooded with Red Sox fans. It was like going to the Irish game watches in the city, high-fiving random people, asking anyone for recaps of the game thus far and getting them with a smile... Great, great experience. We've got a couple of friends who are Sox fans and watch the game with them, but being in a bar that is just packed with Sox fans, in the middle of New York City, is a totally different experience. 15 has a Cards bar she goes to from time to time (where she hobnobs with Will Leitch, of all people), but I never really felt the need to seek out a Sox bar. Boy, have I been missing out. Seriously, can you believe there's a bar in New York where a "Lu-go's bet-ter" chant doesn't get you killed? Anyway, two of three against the Goat Fuckers! Good times.

Speaking of 15, we were supposed to watch the Cards-Cubs game with her last night, but, yeah, well, about that. First thing I thought was Darryl Kile, who was the last active Major Leaguer to die. Yeesh, that's tough.

Holy shit, check out this crazy picture of a collapsed overpass in Oakland.

Dolphins: Seriously, fuck you.

Oh, a quick bit on the strip: 2.0 and I discuss whether or not we could do the Amazing Race basically every time we ever watch it. I don't know that we could. We'd do great until something didn't go our way, and then, disaster. But I really, really hate the midget and her cousin. They are the very definition of ugly Americans.

bullfrog

2.0 -- Monday, April 30 2007, 08:03 am

I think they prefer to be called 'little people.'

Fine. I hate the little person and her cousin.

I am in total agreement.

Well, there's also Cory Lidle from last year. But anyway, what a horrible thing for the Cardinals - twice in five years.

On a happier note, I agree that having a good team-centric bar in New York is the greatest. Dangerous for the wallet, however.

Actually, the whole game's worth of beers and fries only ran us fifty at Thom's. There was even an Asahi special because Matsuazaka was on the mound. (Unfortunately, they've pulled the real ad off YouTube - God, I hate the new YouTube, but here's a fan tribute.)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=eaW9ShcjRV4

Actually, I'm disappointed over this weekend's games. I mean, we lost a game to a last place team, and that's always a bit of a downer. You should really be sweeping those bottom-barrel teams.

::snicker snicker::

Zero

In a way, Saturday's loss has to gall the Human Goiters all the more. I mean, you absolutely steal a game from Wake with the Japanese junkballer up there, you look at the next day and it's Tavarez v. Wang, and you're like, "Shit, we're gonna win this series!"

And then Tavarez does his best Matsuzaka (right down to the walk issues), Wang does his best Chase Wright, Torre uses another five pitchers, and it's in a way even worse than the sweep.

The annual Big Stein pep talk just happened. I love that it always comes right before a ridiculously weak stretch of the Goat Fuckers' schedule.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/baseball/mlb/04/30/bc.bba.yankees.steinbrenner.ap/index.html

So according to Jeter, it's not Torre's fault when he yanks Wang (no pun intended) at 84 pitches to overwork his bullpen again, but we're supposed to revere him for what he did in the late '90s when he had a team so loaded Buttermaker could have managed them to the championship? A guy who was a sub-.500 manager when he took the job?

Actually, the Buttermaker thing works. Substitute Jeter for Rudi Stein and it makes sense. "Now, Derek, when he pitches, I want you to sort of lean in over the plate, let the ball hit you."

Zero

For some reason, I like Myrna and Charla. Even though Charla doesn't really do anything or come up with strategies, and Myrna seems to be living in her own crazy world - I find it fascinating that they have developed a weirdly accented form of English which they think helps the locals understand them.

See, that's what I hate about them. I hate the way they seem to think that speaking in stereotypical accents to the locals is enough to make them understand them, and then get upset when they don't. And when things don't go their way, they whine, and whine, and whine. I'm sure a lot of it is the editing, trying to give us some people to root against, but these two just piss me off at every turn.

Although my friends the Ninja Consultants say that they had the most success communicating with people on their recent trip to Japan when they adopted a bad Japanese accent and spoke English, so what the hell do I know. (Better success than trying to speak Japanese, anyway.)

I pretty much despise every reality television show, except game shows. The TV Guide folks were really gonzo for Cash Cab. It's okay.

As for the Amazing Race (the only reality TV show to win any Emmys), I'm hoping that all three finalists will somehow either be completely humiliated or show how god awful they are in one way or another. (My mother can't stand the "Beauty Queens" and prefers "Twins". I'm surprised she's seen any of Gov. Arnold's movies.) Yes, the girl and her halfling sister awful, but the Beauty Queens aren't that much of an improvement. And the remaining couple looks like they could spontaneously implode at any moment. Kind of like the Yankees, come to think of it.

15, I think the Cardinals really ought to invest in chaffuers for their pitching staff. Some friends of mine in Redbird Nation are actually wondering if this is the "payment" for winning a World Series. I really need to find better friends.

But that's the thing... sometimes the accents they adopt don't even make sense compared to the nationality of the people they're speaking to. It's like some weird Russian accent or something. That's the beauty of it - it doesn't make any sense.