Comic for Tuesday, January 23rd, 2007

Posted: 9:00 am, Tuesday, January 23rd

So I guess Shitwit's going to try and largely gloss over this whole "war" thing he's got going on during tonight's speech. 2.0 gleefully pointed out this morning that he's not going to get scadey-eight zillion standing O's for once during one of his bumbling mutter-fests he calls speeches, which is fun. I'd prefer if all the Dems (and Republicans who've gone into save-their-ass mode) stood and walked out as soon as he started talking, but I'll take what I can get. (Also, if they all started chanting 'Donna Martin graduates,' I'd probably like that, too.) Continuing my long-standing policy of not willingly placing myself in a situation that requires me to take a nailgun to my forehead, I will not be watching the speech tonight, but rather the Gilmore Girls. When last we left the girls, Luke and Christopher had just engaged in the most embarrassing fistfight in the history of television. To say that this show is running out of chances with me is.. well, it's speaking the truth.

Man, I am bummed that Trotman is no longer with the Sox. A Sox Fan in Pinstripe Territory and Keep Your Sox on in Brooklyn offer longer recollections than that. To me, '99 was always Trot's best year. The ALCS against the Goat Fuckers still (obviously) pisses me off (fuck you, Tim Tschida), but that was the year when Trot and 'Tek and Dauber all came out of relatively nowhere and looked like we had a pretty sweet youth movement rockin'. Nomar was incredible, Pedro was God, and we had that incredible comeback against the Indians in the ALDS. I guess that's got to be my second-favorite Sox team to the '04 squad.

Man, the ABA had some great typefaces.

Ooh, a guide on organizing your mp3s. I'm at about 5000 songs in my iTunes these days, pretty much the exact limit of my 20 gig, so I could use this. I'd also like to normalize the volume across the board, so I'm looking forward to eventually getting my computer up again. For many reasons, this being one of them.

2.0 and I are about a week away from sending out our engagement announcements/save-the-dates. (A mere three and a half months into the engagement! Don't rush us.) I like this example from Drink at Work, but I think ours are still going to be better.

I've got the nagging feeling I had something else I wanted to write, but I can't think of it and need to get to work. Eh, that's what the comments are for.

bullfrog

Adam and Mara are both sick? Very suspicious....

Not really... They both work at the same store, after all.

Oh, yeah. I forgot that detail.

The illness has not yet been determined. It could still be suspicious...

Is it bird flu?

I bet it's bird flu.

I suppose it *could* be mono.

Or the bird flu. Yeah, this is the Five Bucks to Friday storyline where the apocalypse gets introduced. Who will live?! Who will die?! Who will rise to become the leader of the survivors?! Stay tuned!

It could be bird flu introduced into the Mac store water supply by Jen. What a dastardly turn of events!

If it were up to me, I would put anti-hipster spray into every Mac sold to market. Call it the iHumbler.

Now, shit, Pat, you're just being silly. Jen's the receptionist at an art gallery, where would she get a strain of the bird flu?

Having typed that, I immediately thought of eight different ways Jen could get a strain of the bird flu.

Do at least four of them involve Pete and some South American "connections"?

http://sports.espn.go.com/ncb/news/story?id=2740098

And thus ends the Kyle McAlarney era. Boy, think his Mom enables him much.

Sheesh.

I can see a mom being pretty upset over this - dismissal from the university (which is what it actually is) is pretty severe for being caught with a joint. I think it's made worse that he was caught by the po-po and not a campus authority.

On the other hand, if she read Du Lac, she'd see that you can get kicked out of school for doing legal things such as gettin' some, so she shouldn't be 'ashamed of the university.'

I think you'd have to look more towards your south-Asian / Indonesia connections to get the best strains of bird flu. Or, your neighborhood virology lab.

It would be more likely that Mara and Jen find out they're separated twin sisters than that Alex & Mara are doing some sort of hanky panky. On the other hand, it is hard to tell Mara and Jen apart at times.

Whatever that Drink at Work guy was drinking/smoking has got to be some wicked and illegal stuff. Have you and 2.0 been engaged for 3 ½ months already? It seemed like you announced it last week.

Bush has done something I thought no Republican/conservative would be able to do: They've made my ultra-conservative parents regret electing him for a second term. That's saying something.

yesterday was the most depressing day ever, apparently...http://www.belfasttelegraph.co.uk/features/health-and-beauty/article2175825.ece

Your parents aren't the only ones Shitwit's lost - Grafe forwarded me this excellent Vanity Fair article earlier this morning, in which most of the neocon proponets of the invasion of Iraq speak with vitriol about ol' Decider.

http://www.vanityfair.com/politics/features/2007/01/neocons200701

I'll probably but this up again tomorrow, since it's getting late in the afternoon and I'm not sure how much traffic we get in the evening, but this is an excellent article. It even kind of explains the neocon philosophy to me in a way that I can actually see that, despite their - in my view - horribly flawed methods, they do have honorable end goals.

Lord knows I'm all for this, but does anyone buy it, coming from *this* president? I mean, could it look more like covering one's ass?

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2007/01/23/AR2007012300721.html

From that WaPo article:

"A separate group of 11 senators -- including eight Democrats, two Republicans and an independent -- proposed yesterday raising the average fuel economy standards for all vehicles from 25 miles per gallon to 35 miles per gallon by 2019."

Dear God, Greenland is floating by Bangor. That's too much of a baby-step to be addressed as useful in this day and age. Using Al Gore's Inconvenient Truth slide here, in three years, Japan will require cars to get 48 mpg. Next year, the EU will require 44 mpg, in three years, 48, and in five years, 52. China will require 36 mpg... NEXT YEAR. And we're *hoping* for 35 mpg in twelve years. What the hell.

My conservative father actually asked me what I thought of Hillary as a presidential candidate. He even said He didn't *think* he could vote for her. "Think" meaning " the door is open" rather than "she's an idiot liberal C***"

(OK, so my father would never use the C-word)

DiCaprio got nominated for Blood Diamond? Has anyone seen both that and the Depahted? I had assumed from things I've heard that Blood Diamond was craptastic, and find it odd that they didn't just go ahead and give him the nom for the Departed, instead.

http://www.oscars.org/79academyawards/noms.html

Also, Little Miss Sunshine: Very enjoyable, not one of the five best pictures of the year.

Here's my question: Are the same cars that are required to get 48-52 mpg in China going to be available here in the USA? (I don't think so.)

See, my problem with Hillary running for President is that I'm not sure I'm ready for Bill Clinton being the First Husband. Hell, he could be nominated for VP, couldn't he? Besides, at this point, I think Obama would make a better President than Hillary.

Oscars Forecast:
Best Picture: Letters from Iwo Jima
Documentary: An Inconvient Truth (Would you give a former Vice President of the USA 30 seconds to give out his thank yous? I think not...)
Actor: Peter O'Toole (sympathy vote, probably, if they're honest/mean, they'll vote Forest Whitaker)
Actress: Helen Mirer (Accepting Her Award on her behalf, Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II)
Supporting Actor: Mark "I can't believe I'm Hosting the Freaking Antiques Roadshow" Wahlberg
Supporting Actress: Abaigail Breslin (This Generation's Anna Paquin surprise winner)
Animated Film: Cars (Seriously, what can't Pixar do?)

My co-workers and I have an ongoing debate on whether the amendment preventing a president from serving more than two terms prevents Bill from ever being VP. The consensus is that it does.

I caught a few mintues of the SOTU and my eyes burn.

What's Marky Mark's connection to Antiques Roadshow?