Comic for Wednesday, October 4th, 2006

Posted: 7:40 am, Wednesday, October 4th

Holy geez, has it finally come? The season premiere of Lost?! I bet tonight's the night we get to find out what the deal with that massive statue is, or the chick that's been trying to find Desmond, and if Locke and Eko are alive! Actually, I bet today's the day we get to see the riveting backstory of Background Nebish #4 that's basically just hanging around for the smoke monster to kill when the writers remember there's a smoke monster on the island. (I kid, I kid - I'm jazzed about this shit. Also, barring unforeseen circumstances combined with my forgetting to delete this disclaimer, the odds are that I have not seen last night's Gilmore Girls, so nobody tell me what happened.)

I complained a while ago about the ad in my local bodega's window for an energy drink called Xtasy, which had the tagline "Let's Get High!" I figured that was as bad as it could get. I am, of course, completely underestimating the shallowness of American capitalists. Yes, that's right, there's now a drink called Cocaine. Three times the caffeine of Red Bull. That's fucking sick. Good job the FDA's doing sitting on the HPV vaccine but OKing this shit for consumption. I'd say this is as bad as it can get, but crack and meth haven't been turned into energy drinks yet, so.

I'm sure no one cares at this point, but here's a Google map with all the Twin City references from Hold Steady songs mapped out. It's pretty cool. Speaking of the Twin Cities, dammit, Twins, you're making my predictions look silly.

Where the hell have I been on this? What a beautiful-looking comic anthology.

bullfrog

cocaine is advertised as a nutritional supplement and isn't regulated by the FDA.

and the HPV vaccine is out.

Dammit, Skitters. Actually, I meant to Google the HPV vaccine because I half-thought it was out, but I only had about ten minutes to write this thing last night. As for the FDA, I guess if I had thought about it, I would've realized that they don't regulate hardly anything, but I probably would've gone with the line anyway.

After watching last night's game, I now understand why you are infatuated with Derek Jeter, Bullfrog. He truly is a God. By the way, watch what you say in response because I watched Gilmores like a loyal viewer would and I'm not afraid to ruin it for you. I will. Don't test me. Derek Jeter lover.

God of the crap hit, maybe. Has he ever hit a home run into the second row?

Oh please. I love Lost, but I gurantee we won't see any of that for a very long time.

Derek Jeter is weak willed and woman like. And not the kind of woman who is capable of doing things with her life and playing sports. Jeter's like a freshman girl who gets drunk and throws up on the cop.

So are you, sexist Senor(ita) Wood. So are you.

Lost had better be phat this season. Did anybody notice the bearded dude from the Others made an appearance as a hobo in a Capital One commercial?

Why is Pete such a damn dickhead? He's making me want to take on a vector-generated cartoon appearance and put a fist to his dome.

"A freshman girl who gets drunk and throws up on the cop." That's friggin' fantastic.

Damon is clearly the one that gets drunk and starts dancing on the table. Sheffield is the thoroughly unpleasant one that can't figure out why no one's talking to him/her.

Pete just really hates Adam for some reason. I haven't figured out what that reason is yet. Part of his problem today is that he's not in complete control of the situation.

I have faith in Lost, but I'm tempering my expectations for tonight's episode. The season finale was so balls to the wall that I'm assuming they're going to skate on it for a little bit.

Beats sports drink made by the creators of the Final Fantasy series. Even comes in blue tinted glass shaped like the vials found in the FF series.

Stat that I heard very early in the morning on espn radio: When the Yankees lose the first game in an five-game series (since lik 1988 or something like that): 5-0 series wins. When they lose the first game: 2-4. Take it for what you will.

Oh, yeah, "Potion." I'd heard about that.

I think you meant to say when they win the first game, they're 2-4? I'm assuming that's the way, because I remember that awesome choke job in '95 against the Mariners, where they were up 2-0 and going back to the Pit of Hell and wound up losing the series. That was fantastic.

When do the Red Sox play this week?

Their game is on at a quarter of FUCK YOU.

Yeah, I meant win. Wasn't quite awake yet. Still not.

One other meaningless stat: The last two times Buck Showalters was fired as manager, the next year, those teams won the World Series. Happened in 1995 with New York Yankees, and again in 2000 with the Arizona Diamondbacks. Texas Rangers in 2007? (Didn't think so either.)

And just watch A-Rod get shredded by the fans no matter how well he does.

Notre Dame gets (3-1) Navy this week, right?

Stanford, as per the comic. Navy's on the 28th.

Oh, did Showalter get the axe while I was out on lunch? Well, no one expected the D'backs to win, either, so maybe the Rangers will magically find a lot of pitching this offseason.

That Tree Mascot has to be the dumbest mascot in all of college sports.

The fact that Stanford's actual mascot is the color Cardinal is super-lame. (I think the tree has some charm to it, but I can't think of a lamer mascot concept right off hand. I mean, no one's, like, the Marble Blocks or anything.)

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pimpmobile

This is off topic but was too great not to post. Thats right ladies and gentlement, the pimpmobile has a wikipedia entry.

Sweet find. How friggin' random is Wikipedia?

You know, I kind of wish I was at Shea right now. Of course, I'm at work, so I kind of wish I was anywhere short of Darfur right now.

Gamecast just said that there were two outs recorded at home on the same play. In addition to not having any idea how that can happen, I had no idea Grady Little had hired Dale Sveum.

Apparently, JD Drew was just running straight in behind Kent without looking for the ball. That's fucking unbelievable.

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Hot damn, Lost! Good times. No answers, but good times!

SPOILER ALERT

So, at the end, was that lady's "she's happy," all BS? Nothing she told Jack couldn't be obtained from deep recon with the Lostaways. Just wonderin'.