Comic for Wednesday, September 13th, 2006

Posted: 12:01 am, Wednesday, September 13th

Yep, they’re still playing softball in New York City – 2.0 and I watched a few lady’s league games over the weekend, in fact.

Oh, I remember what made me talk about magazines in yesterday’s strip – the fact that I actually did see someone reading Elle Accessories on the subway. It just appalled me that trees are sacrificed for such a worthless subject as accessories. Granted, I used to subscribe to Maxim and still subscribe to SI, but, fucking accessories?

I went to the dentist for the first time in over a year on Monday - silly, because I have insurance. They broke out this new water pick that was clearly forged in hell to clean my teeth. That thing hurt like a bitch. I'm not saying this lightly - I fear no dentist, and actually fell asleep while they were sanding off some glue from my braces back in the day. And the dentist I go to advertises that they "cater to cowards," so I never would've expected the fucking Urak-hai treatment from these people. It was like a water drill combined with sonic torture. God. Last time I lag a year between cleanings.

Amidst all the new iPods that were announced yesterday, I think the one that impressed me the most was the new Shuffle. First off, Goddamn, is that thing tiny. Second, 2.0 got me a Shuffle when I was training for the NYC marathon last summer, and I have to say that it is a fantastic piece of equipment. Its biggest drawback is that you can't fast-forward within a track, making it inconvenient for listening to podcasts. But aside from that, I have not had any complaints with the thing - it has worked with no flaws for longer than any of the three clickwheel/third-gen iPods I've owned (all on the same warranty).

Why anyone with as astoundingly leet - or, as they say in the industry, 1337 - skills as this guy clearly has at video editing would choose to expend the time and effort to use those skills to explore the homoerotic relationship of Kirk and Spock, and set that exploration to NIN's "Closer" is utterly beyond me. But I am glad he did, because this video is awesome.

My friend and yours, Fred Phelps, somehow figured out how to work a video camera. Since video cameras weren't mentioned in the Bible, I assume this means that Fred has damned himself to hell in an effort to save mankind. Oh, wait, Fred's not actually about saving mankind, just letting us all know we're damned. Well, then. I don't know what to make of this. I find it kind of funny that his production there flashes the Bible verses friend is quoting, though. I kind of wish sports announcers were held to that sort of production value, since more often or not, they just make up stats.

Interesting article from the Explainer about the sale of donated blood. I have been donating at the New York Blood Center since moving to New York, since the Red Cross locations just aren't very convenient to me. But, evidently, everyone sells blood.

Sweet article from Retrocrush on zombie flicks. I don't know if he didn't count it because it was a remake or what, but I can't believe the remake of Dawn of the Dead didn't make the cut. That thing was fantastic. Although it did cause Tree to stop accepting film recommendations from me.

The Hold Steady are streaming a few of their new tracks over at TheirSpace. (I'm so fucking clever!) Hot Fries kicks ass. Little too much actual singing go on in the first two tracks for me, on the first listen, anyway.

bullfrog

I watched the remake of The Hills Have Eyes on Sunday. I have completely come around on schlocky horror films as they are the best way to spend a hungover Sunday afternoon. Probably the most graphic horror film I've seen. Not saying a lot I know. I also waited three years in between dental cleanings in law school and I will never do that again. My mouth was a killing field.

I got to see Fred Philips up close and personal when he protested a St. Joseph (Missouri) funeral claiming that the death of solider serving in Iraq are God's judgement for America's tolerance on homosexuality. Regardless what you think about the first amendment, you'd think that wouldn't apply towards funerals, no?

I watched Shawn of the Dead, that was a hilariously funny movie. It's a British movie that I think spoofs off of Twenty Eight Days, which was one hell of a scary zombie movie. (Plus, those zombies move fast!) And you made me think about the new Bruce Campbell book which seemed to compell me to buy on its own: Make Love! (The Bruce Campbell Way)

Sorry for the rambling. I've been sick, and without cable-internet access for a day and a half, and I suspect they are closely related.

Congratulations on a great web site. I am a new computer user and finding you was like coming home. Continued success.

Shaun of the Dead was fantastic, I agree. I've heard mixed things on Make Love the Bruce Campbell Way, though, which saddens me. I love Bruce Campbell (making me wholly unique amongst people who have webcomics).

I can't decide - is Qween Lorry spam or no?

There's a theory that Fred Phelps and the WBC are trying to provoke people into assaulting them by making such horrid nuisances of themselves at funerals, so that they can then sue the pants off people. There's also the theory - which I only just saw yesterday - that by being so incredibly vile and over-the-top, they're actually trying to raise sympathy for gay folks. I don't buy that one. I saw an interview with one of Phelps' daughters (on Fox News - I linked to the video a few months back), and I really don't think that hatred was faked. This leads me to believe that Phelps is closeted and self-loathing beyond all comprehension.

Also, Tree, your time stamp makes me so, so sad.

It makes me sad, too. But I get to go to sleep now - holla.

If Qween Lorry is spam, I'd keep it just b/c even automated compliements are good things :)

You said the word "closer"! Tee hee!

http://stlouis.cardinals.mlb.com/NASApp/mlb/news/wrap.jsp?ymd=20060912&content_id=1659468&vkey=wrapup2005&fext=.jsp&team=home

15, I really don't know if you should be mocking closers.

By the way, the Onion's sports page is really giving it to A-Rod.

http://www.theonion.com/content/sports

There is actually a motorcycle gang of sorts who follow Phelps, et. al, around and prevent them from getting close to the families.

http://www.armytimes.com/story.php?f=1-292925-1546852.php

Just a thought: If all these poker web-sites commericals I see claim they are not a gambling site...then what is? (I mean, that's the point of playing poker, right?) (And the World Series of Poker: Tournament of Champions video game has got to be the lamest 3-D game, ever.)

Only in New York would they make a big deal out of Derek Jeter continuing his hit streak at 23 or something like that by not having an at bat. (Wake me up when it's at 40.)

I think many of the webcomic artists stopped liking Bruce Campbell when he started to get semi-prominent roles in A-list movies, i.e. Spider Man.

Dude, you're a killjoy! Although you're right. Izzy's still blown twice as many saves (10) as Lidge (5).

Eh, it was awesome anyway.

so does the pain go up exponentially (sp?) with each year you don't go to the dentist? i'm up to year 6...

I would just never go back, Skitters. It was terrible.

Please tell me this isn't true:

http://www.dailykos.com/storyonly/2006/9/12/193723/894

They've been kicking that idea around for a while now, E. I can't see it being used outside of prisons, and hopefully not even then. Unless it's focused on Shitwit and he's tied down and unable to move.

Sorry, I'm thinking out loud again, aren't I?

My fucking head asplode.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/09/12/AR2006091201594.html

OK, is it more likely that A) we are undergoing a Third Awakening because Shitwit meets more and more religious people in his travels, or B) Shitwit thinks that his experiences are the sum totality of the universe, and meets more religious people in his travels because of his nonstop pandering to fundamentalist hot-button issues (while completely ignoring any of the, you know, actual lessons of the Bible)?

i heart jeremiah

Or C) He's determined foster the necessary prequisties necessary to actually start the apacalypse.

I've actually heard this theory being bantered about as to why he has such a black and white opinion about everything. Rapturists people often feel that anything that delays or prevents the Second Coming to happen is a bad thing, hence their attitude of do-nothing when it comes to current social, environmental, or many moral issues.

As an amateur grammarian, I was amused by this quote:

"A lot of people in America see this as a confrontation between good and evil, including me," said Bush.

Yes, the evil *does* include you . . .

Nice, CK. Sorry about any grammar breakdowns I may've had in trying to convey the awesomeness of the NIN-Star Trek clip. My mind kind of overloaded after a few drafts.