Comic for Tuesday, August 29th, 2006

Posted: 12:01 am, Tuesday, August 29th

OK, whether or not these are more interesting than shit I rambled about yesterday, here - we - go.

The Hobbitses are, I'm come to grips with it, just about my favorite movies ever made. I'll probably still tell people Casablanca so that I sound like I have some degree of hip cache, but, really, I dunno, man, "I can't carry it, Mr. Frodo, but I can carry you" has not once failed to make me tear up like a putz. Even still, I think they're getting a bit excessive with the DVD releases. I find it curious they can get about five DVDs worth on two DVDs now, without making the jump to Blu-Ray or whatever the hell the next-gen thing that's holding my PS3 up is called. Still, in case you only ever got the theaterical release of the movies on DVD, the extended version of the Return of the King makes so much more friggin' sense, and the documentaries are really unbelievable.

I see I've decided to really dork things out on today's blog. Huh.

You know, I find the Christian sex-toy shop way creepier than the normal sex-toy shop. It's not even close, honestly. (I'm going to go ahead and label them both as NSFW, although probably neither actually is.)

From the sports page, this was in some CNNSI article on baseball, which some fools insist on continuing to play, a week and a half after the season ended:

For those of a certain age, Aaron Rowand may become the Pete Reiser of this generation, too daring for his own good.

I mis-read that to read Paul Reiser at first, and tried remembering what he ever did that was too daring. Certainly not Bye Bye Love.

More sports, since the world's too fucking depressing these days: I’m glad to see the homoerotic “Players who just look good in their uniform” Herbie award is still out there. And if you think Brady Quinn looks good *in* his uniform, you should see him out of – I’ll stop. By the way, it’s funny that Herbstreit awards ‘prettiest coeds’ to the SEC without getting too specific, but names 22 fellas that look good out there.

Despite it involving the Irish, that was not the day's Irish - this is. I really hate the Faust-era unis. Madonna blue is a nice tribute to the lady on the dome and all, but we look like friggin’ UCLA. And those sleeve strips are terrible, too.

Speaking of Faust, can you imagine Gerry Faust coaching the Irish in the ESPN era? We'd get all sorts of stupid fucking headlines like "Faust-ian bargain!" ... I've had some wine, or I'd be able to come up with more examples of bad ESPNish headlines, all of which would make MySpace look downright clever by comparison.

So, my two fantasy leagues both did their drafts this past weekend, while I was out of commission, and I have by far my best rosters ever. I hear my work league was complimenting my shrewd GM-ery, in fact. My work team, I Love Clay Aiken, has such luminaries as Tom Brady and Drew Brees at QB, Larry Johnson heading up the stable of running backs (not a lot of depth there, so hopefully he stays upright), Torry Holt and Joey Galloway at WR, and the Giants D. My other team, UConn! Great Pick!, is more well-balanced, with Roethlisberger and Plummer as my QBs, Boldin and Harrison as my wideouts, and Ronnie Brown, Rudi Johnson, and Deuce McAllister at running back. I also, hilariously, have Deion Branch in both leagues. I really wish I knew who he'd be playing for come kickoff. Anyway, the long and short of this is that Tree, Sweaty and Pat ought to all send me about a hundred dollars to convince me to cut LJ, Brady and Big Ben from my various teams, because my owning them virtually assures a three-car collision that will result in limbs torn asunder and flesh charred. You've got a week and a half 'til the NFL kicks off, gentlemen, and I accept PayPal. I'd hold Reggie Ho hostage for the Giants defense, but he'd just up and switch to being a Jets fan.

bullfrog

my favorite christian sex toy kit? the 'honeymoon for lovers' one. not to be confused with the 'honeymoon for just really good friends' kit which sells surprisingly well given that it does NOT include a feather.

Brady's Mom... http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/08/28/AR2006082801143.html

And I was expecting a picture of Robin Quinn. And then someone else telling us how hot she is.

Brady's sister gets all the pub - his mom is just some uber-rational lady. His dad must be boring as all get-out, because he never gets any ink.

Did you know brady quinn's sister is dating a goon from the ohio state team?!?!?!

sorry, had a flashback.

It took some searching to re-find this link in my college fraternity emails. This is a much more disturbing christian sex site http://www.divine-interventions.com/index2.php Definitly not safe for work. A sex toy named the Jackhammer Jesus just makes me chuckle (and alliterate).

"Help Moses part the Pink Sea." Hi-larious. Ticket window, please.

Dear god, this brings new meaning to the phrase, The Power of Christ Compels Ye. I'm going to be flushing my brain out with bleach now.