Comic for Monday, July 17th, 2006

Posted: 12:01 am, Monday, July 17th

People! It is *so* good to be back!

Unfortunately, it's also friggin' hotter than hell, and I'm tired. So this is not going to be long.

This site was on Deadspin the other day, and is hilarious. You can be damn certain I checked myself and then my buddies with it. I appear to be clean. Whew. This guy, though, well, "If anyone says they live in Nigeria it is always a con. That is what the police say."

I dunno, sometimes (most times) ads drive me nuts, so I liked this.

The always kick-ass Elise has two new recipies up that I figure on making pretty soon, one totally new and one just a different way of making something we have anyway, and she also reminds me of the existence of the coolest-named site I've ever encountered. FEAR MEATHENGE.

One of my old roommates from the Dome is comin' to Brooklyn for a tour tonight with an open mind as to possibly moving here. I was going to start in the Heights and move to "Bococa," an acronym I only discovered yesterday and hate like all hell, and then to the Slope and maybe the Terrace. Ft. Greene, Red Hook and Dumbo, unfortunately, will likely be skipped, although I am willing to listen to anyone who feels like arguing their unskippability.

We all know that gazing upon Chtulu causes madness. But there's another thing you can gaze upon to melt your mind that's a slightly better-kept secret, and that's Shitwit's online store. I haven't looked at this thing since before November 2, 2004, but for some reason thought of it yesterday. Since the motherfucker can never run for president again (notice I did not say 'elected,' since, well), the pickings are a little slimmer. He got rid of the John Deere ripoffs, and the NASCAR-looking things, but he's still for the W collection for the metropolitan fascist, which features this awesomeness. To make up for their lack of Shitwit shit, there is an online store that hedges all possible bets. Yikes.

Since this is short, why not go fill time you usually spend reading my nonsense and go find some decent music.

bullfrog

You can tell I was losing steam with that last paragraph - "... got the W collection" and "there is an overarching GOP online store." I need to edit these before I post. Or not type them right before bed.

How embarrassing, I totally forgot the MySpace nightmare. I had a good one, too. Look for a double-dip tomorrow.

what's bococa?

Whatever happened to Kellogg's Smack 'Em cereal and that mascot frog, Dig 'Em? Tony the Tiger must have killed him.

And Cap'n Crunch are sugary, but nothing compared to Coco Crisp (the cereal, not the outfielder) or those Cheerios "Berry Burst" cereals. The new ones with "yogurt" in them, dear god are they supersaturated in sugar.

The only thing weirder than adding sugar to a kid's cereal is pouring water in your cereal. My father has a cousin who does this. And I'm thinking, at least use the fat-free milk, if you're wanting something watery.

And I hate the fat-free milk. Tastes like the gruel in Dicken's Oliver. I'll drink at least a 2% milk, if not the Vitamin D or Whole Milk variant.

I can't believe I feel so strongly about cereal. I feel like I'm trapped in a bad Food Network show.

Shit dude, I was in Brooklyn a few weeks back and made up the name "Bococa" to my companions as a joke. That shit is real? Lame!

"Bococa" is evidently Boerum Hill, Cobble Hill, Carroll Gardens. Lovely area, fucking brutal acronym.

I was always a 2% guy until sheer laziness took over around junior year of collitch. See, the milk dispensers at ND were these strange kind of lever things, such that if you held the glass under them and pushed your wrist up, you could get your milk with just one hand. There were three levers per unit, and usually it was 2%, Skim, Chocolate. I drank two glasses of milk with each meal, because I bought into those Helps a Body Grow ads back in the 80s (which is why I am a mountain of a man at probably about a buck-sixty these days). Well, honestly, you can't expect me to sit there and wait for the 2% to fill up twice, there's beer to drink and Playstation to play back in the room. So I would fill up 2% and skim at the same time. Eventually, I realized that there wasn't much of a different in taste for me, so I just switched to buying skim after collitch because why not be less fat?

Mmm, long, boring stories from Bullfrog's past. A staple here at Five Bucks to Friday.

Yeah, Bococa is really scraping the bottom of the barrel. Especially since those places already have names.

I worked at a Campus Dining Service cafeteria at the tail end of my Bachelor's degree. The reason the milk dispensers are like that is because milk comes in plastic bags since I think milk tastes different in from plastic than it does with metal. And to keep the milk ice cold (since who'd want to drink warm milk unless you were wanting to sleep five minutes afterward), the machines had to be made completely out of metal so it could be kept chilled. And the heavy arm dispenser? So milk could be poured at a constant pressure. It's kind of like trying to explain why diesel engines were made differently than gasoline engines. Milk is just wanky.

My Grandmother was lactose intolerant (long before it was trendy) and used to put OJ on her cereal. I think there are few cereals you could do this with. Mom's rule on sugar cereals was that we could only have one in the house at a time. Which meant choking down the Lucky Charms after someone picked out all the marshmellows pretty much turned me off cereal for years.

Juice on cereal is one of my favotite backpacking breakfast tricks! Especially good on granola. Haven't tried orange though- usually stick to berry flavored varieties.

Anyone here catch the show "Nightmares and Dreamscapes" on TNT last week, specifically the episode called "Battleground" where William Hurt takes on a bunch of toy army men come to life? Just wondering if people got as big of a kick out of it as my wife and I did.

So i take it Lissa is back to her seductress ways...

She never left 'em, I just have been covering other stuff.

Not My President, showing his incredible perceptive abilities about a third of the way down, by the little map.

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/07/17/world/middleeast/17cnd-prexy.html?_r=1&oref=slogin

I have no idea why so many people are Googling Christie Brinkley, but for those of you finding this site by doing so, here's the latest from the Daily News:

http://www.nydailynews.com/07-17-2006/news/story/435707p-367133c.html

Now, go care about something more important than Christie Brinkley. Honestly, has she even been considered an A-lister in over a decade now?