Comic for Wednesday, July 12th, 2006

Posted: 7:40 am, Wednesday, July 12th

I don't know why I make so many backgrounds orange in the strip. Ron's cube, the girls' fridge... I don't encounter this many orange objects in my day-to-day life, in case anyone was wondering.

People! We are a mere month and a half away from the new Dylan album! It will be just the thing to get me over my high school reunion that will have taken place the previous weekend. He's covering the Levee's Gonna Break. I was more excited for it until I just realized the Zepplin song is When the Levee Breaks, but, still, new Dylan. Hot-cha-cha.

Anyone else wonder what their favorite sport executives are reading for the summer? Yeah, me neither, but here's a list. I can't stand Bill Walton, and I can't stand it that he's reading a bunch of books that I'd like to read. Dammit, I should probably like that guy. Crap. Also, the Eagles' president and CEO is reading the latest Chomsky - so I'll root for the Eagles against, I dunno, the Giants or somebody next year.

Soxfan was over in Italia when they won the Cup - damn, that must be a party.

It's been, what, three months or so since I've had an article about Scientology? Time to fix that. And is anyone else completely unshocked that the Suri kid might not exist?

It's multimedia Wednesday here on Five Bucks! Thrill as Adam Corolla hangs up on Ann Coulter! Chill as Shitwit "solves global warming" for his 60th birthday! Spill (?) as Retrocrush counts down the top 30 gameshow hosts through the magic of YouTube (check out Pat Sajak putting the moves on Vanna, good God, y'all, and this clip is a testament to the awesomeness that was Richard Dawson)!

Hey, the AL won yet again. Shoot, that means the Sox have to drop a few games if they want to wrap up the Series in front of the home crowd.

One thing you can say about today's MySpace disaster is that it definitely has a picture of Rush's drummer. Also, that it's horrible.

bullfrog

You don't encounter that much orange in your day-to-day life? Poor thing...come to our house! Orange abounds! (Good thing Grafe probably didn't know you could get fridges in orange when he bought his!)

The subway seats, I guess, constitute most of it. And the links on this page. Geez, I must be subconsciously obsessed with orange or something.

I watched a few innings of the All-Star game last night, but with the volume down (except for the Clemente thing, because I figured the only reason they'd interrupt the game was if they were going to retire 21 league-wide, instead of give Pittsburgh baseball fans a relatively meaningless rub-down like they did), because I kill enough brain cells with beer and don't need McCarver and Buck helping the effort. Thankfully, the boys at Fire Joe Morgan were watching with the volume up (hopefully, proper safety checks were in place), and therefore I am aware of McCarver-isms such as "a Mark Wohlberg fastball."

http://firejoemorgan.blogspot.com/2006/07/can- we-talk-about-this-one-thing.html

Ah, my beloved Pittsburgh continues to struggle in baseball futility. Thank you, Nutting family, for your personal role in maintaining this sporting disaster.

Reggie Ho and I were there when Daryl Ward hit the first ball into the Allegheny on the fly. Granted, we weren't paying any attention to the game because it was the Astros and the Pirates, but, hey, history.

1) Eh, Pittsburgh may be futile, but it's nothing like the misery that is Kansas City, even in a four-game winning streak. Pittsburgh may have an incompent family, Kansas City just has Wal-Mart.

2) Richard Dawson's best role was that of the game show host in the movie, Running Man. Can you see Pat Sajak or Vanna White doing such a similar role? I think not...

3) At least you don't have a fixation with lime green.

Killian is lying to you! Good times.

As for the Royals, well, nostros still creemos.

you guys, being web-savvy, have probably already seen this, but just in case you haven't:

http://marchtogether.blogspot.com/2006/07/murd er-without-conscience.html

the comments are worth the price of admission, but just the fact that someone doesn't know what The Onion does . . . sheesh.

Zero

Holy shit, I had never seen that. Awesome.

Seriously, everybody, read that link of Zero's. Good stuff.

But could I get the orange fridge to match the walls or would we have to re-repaint the kitchen?

what the...? that piece actually says that "oral contraceptives cause abortion too"

That doesn't make any sense because contraceptives prevent conception which is, as we all know, different.

holy christ. i know it's silly to poke holes in that argument because they are gaping.

it just drives me crazy when people like this believe they have a valid point.

fuming! fuming!

smoke pouring out of my ears!

If you click the name of the blog, it takes you to the most recent posts, in which he thrice tries to defend his arguing with the Onion and back up his viewpoints. It gets embarrassing.

I mean, it gets more embarrassing.

.. than arguing with the Onion.

I feel like sending him the Onion article, "Study Shows that Binge Drinking Fucking Rules!" so he can punch holes in that one, too.

I mis-remembered the title, but I like mine better.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29565

my all time onion fave?

"poor people are fucked"

pretty much sums up what i learned in three years at yale

The entire Election 2000 coverage was brilliant, and the post-9/11 "HOLY FUCKING SHIT" issue was probably the greatest thing they've ever done.

What the hey, links:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30200

http://www.theonion.com/content/index/3641

http://www.theonion.com/content/index/3734

Oh, "Bush: Our Long National Nightmare of Peace and Prosperity Is Finally Over" is an all-time great, too.

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/28784?iss ue=4228&special=2001

I just saw that headline "American Life Turns into Bad Jerry Bruckheimer Movie" on the Onion 9/11 coverage. Actually, it's Oliver Stone: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0469641/

What's really sad is how people consider what's written by the Onion and on the Daily Show much more seriously than they do with serious news channels.

You oughta see what the Onion has done with Sports News.