Comic for Wednesday, March 8th, 2006

Posted: 7:42 am, Wednesday, March 8th

Oh, man, I completely forgot that I've been doing Five and Dimes on Wednesday. Actually, I knew that much - I completely forgot today was going to be Wednesday. Shoot. Well, I didn't have one ready, anyway. We'll see if we can't get back on track for Friday. Maybe a make-up for tomorrow? I wouldn't count on it, but you never know with me.

It was a bitch coming up with Kelly's song today. I was stuck for the longest time on "You Oughtta Know," but that's not really all *that* disturbing. Tree suggested Liz Phair's "Why Can't I" which a bit too obscure for a karaoke scene, I think. (By the way, check out that site - they do better than James Bond. Doesn't say at what, though. Lyrics? That makes sense - he was a spy, not a songwriter. Ladies? I doubt it. Canasta? It's possible.)(Did you ever wonder why Bond always identified himself? I'm not going to make it sound like I've seen all the Bond flicks, but I've seen maybe five or six - he never uses an alias. What sort of secret agent is that?)

Big ups to Big Papi. Also, I'm sure anyone who cares has already seen this - but nice moves, Bonds. You've gone and broken Tree's heart. Frankly, I'm bummed my reaction didn't rate at CNNSI - all I wrote was "Damnatio memoriae." Probably some chump from BC was grading the entries and thought I mispelled "damnation memory!" or something. Well, I can still dream that the next damnatio memoriae will be directed at good ol' Shitwit.

Oh, back onto the music: I haven't bought a Pearl Jam album since No Code came in the mail through BMG and I didn't send it back in time, but I'm actually aware that they're releasing a new one. The lyrics to their advance single, available for download on their site by the time you read this, are scathing towards the situation we've gotten ourselves into as a planet, and have made the rounds at damn near every blog I've read the past few days (a lie - maybe three or four blogs). I dunno, might give it a shot. Just listened to the Worldwide Suicide - not bad. Harder rocking than anything I've heard from them in years. I admire Pearl Jam for sticking with it and not giving a shit about how commericially viable they are these days, and find it amazing Eddie's voice hasn't changed a lick with age. Man, remember that Last Kiss song, though? What the hell was that? Maybe I should've had Kelly singing that.

I read on 1up yesterday that there's an energy drink being marketed in Japan called Final Fantasy XII Potion. That's hilarious. If I were still twelve, I'd be all over that. (Twelve was not a kind age to me.) It reminded me of those ludicrous ads for Tab Energy that were running during the Oscars. Why bring Tab back as an energy drink? Especially marketed directly at ladies? Weird. When I first started working at my office, one of the dudes in the office always brought his lunch and a can of Tab in. I have no idea where he got that stuff from. The hot dog place in my neighborhood has RC on tap, so I still see that all the time, but Tab? Wow. I guess, like these guys, he just loved Tab. (A Tab-devoted site. God, the Internet is never-ending.)

I guess it's made the national news, although probably it's already faded from the headlines, but there was a postively horrible murder here in New York a week and a half ago (that I don't believe I've mentioned, and I'm sorry if I'm repeating myself). I'll spare you the morbid details - and they are morbid - but the guy the cops are focusing on right now is a bouncer at the last place the girl was seen. The most famousest bouncer on the Interweb ran down a quick Q&A of sorts on his take on these developments, and discusses the likelihood of this happening at a bigger club (the Falls, where the girl was last seen, is down in the Bowery and presumably kind of a dive). Anyway, it's interesting. (As is the rest of that blog - I haven't been reading it as much lately, I kind of lost track of it while it was updating less often, but the guy is quite funny, has provided me with just about everything I know of the megaclub scene, since I wouldn't go near that scene if my life depended on it, and is also how I found the oft-linked Stacked.)

Have people in non-New York markets been getting bombarded with ads from Verizon and the like trying to get you to switch from dial-up to a cable modem? Who still has dial-up (besides my parents)? I didn't know this was even still an option these days. Especially not in the city.

The Irish tip off against Georgetown in the Big East tourney at two this afternoon, which means MNP's not getting much done. I think they basically have to win the tourney to have a shot at the NCAAs. Not a big chance of that, but they're better than their eleventh-seed would lead a casual observer to believe. Go Irish, beat Hoyas! By the way, on the topic of the NCAAs - any interest in a Five Bucks pool? I don't know what would go to the winner, but I'm sure we could come up with something.

Alright, more tomorra.

bullfrog

Grafe just sent me this:

http://www.latimes.com/news/opinion/commentary /la-oe-jalon8mar08,0,2280342.story?coll=la-home-commentary

35 years ago today, the break-in that lead to the revelation of the FBI's COINTELPRO occurred. COINTELPRO is one of the most fiendish, dastardly things this country has ever done, and the fact that America could ever regain trust in its government is either a miracle, or just shows how anesthetized we can be as a people. From the article:

"Found among the Media documents was a new word, "COINTELPRO," short for the FBI's "secret counterintelligence program," created to investigate and disrupt dissident political groups in the U.S. Under these programs, beginning in 1956, the bureau worked to "enhance the paranoia endemic in these circles," as one COINTELPRO memo put it, "to get the point across there is an FBI agent behind every mailbox."

...

"For instance, agents sought to persuade Martin Luther King Jr. to kill himself just before he received the Nobel Prize. They sent him a composite tape made from bugs planted illegally in his hotel rooms when he was entertaining women other than his wife � and threatened to make it public. "King, there is one thing left for you to do. You know what it is," FBI operatives wrote in their anonymous letter."

I find it no end of hilarious that the FBI never managed to figure out who committed the break-in.

Anyway, more on COINTELPRO here

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cointelpro

and here

http://www.chomsky.info/articles/199909--.htm

Dude, screw Bonds. He tarnished his own legacy, and no matter how many times he blames the media, racism or anyone but himself, it doesn't change the fact that he's a cheating douchebag. So long, Hall of Fame. They might let in jerks (cough cough Ty Cobb) but they're not going to let in roid ragers.

I whole-heartedly agree. The shame was that he was a first-ballot hall of famer just with natural talent. I don't care enough to look it up, but by the time he was 34, he must've already had 400 or so homers and 400 stolen bases. On the other hand, dear God, do I love watching assholes get their due. This is gonna be great.

Reggie hates Barry!

It was interesting to listen to Michael Kay, Radio Idiot and Yankee Shill, trying to say that it won't matter that Bonds took steriods, he'll still get into the Hall because there's no positive test results, and how could they keep him out without proof? I was driving and had to settle for screaming at the radio, "WHAT ABOUT SHOELESS JOE JACKSON, YOU MORON!!" I don't think he heard me. Oh well. How can I take the Hall of Fame seriously when they let Rizzuto in?

Zero

Oh, who was I reading about the other day that is the single-least qualified Hall of Famer... I think it was at the end of that Gil Hodges book and was a first baseman who'd gotten in over Hodges. Lemme see if I can find it.

I'd go with Don Larsen. 81-91 career record with an ERA of 3.78 (which was higher than the league average for his years), only broke 100ks in a season once, went 3-21 one year. Shouldn't be in the Hall of Fame for a single achievement, unless they make a wing for just that. As for Rizzuto, when you get shot down for each of your 25 years of regular eligibility, you don't deserve to sneak in via a crew of your old cronies.

Zero

Larsen and Rizzuto are good picks, but I give them the "The Universe Unfairly Loves the Goat Fuckers and There's Nothing I Can Do About It" nod. Frankly, the entire Hall of Fame upsets me since that Bull Durham crap a few years ago. Maybe this guy was the least-qualified 1B in the Hall. As you can see from my hours of radio silence, I was unable to think of it. I'll skim the book tonight and find it out.

By the way, don't know if I've ever mentioned it in this space before, but the beers of the Cooperstown Brewing Company are outstanding. It's about all my dad ever has on stock - I especially recommend the Strike Out Stoud, the Back Yard IPA and the Pride of Milford Special Ale. Also good is the Striker Brown, although it breaks the mold of having an awesome label and has one of the worst beer labels I've ever seen. Anyway, the link:

http://www.cooperstownbrewing.com/

And now the Irish are about to tip off. Go Irish, beat Hoyas!

Well, there that went.

Cooperstown, eh? I'll give it a shot between Black and Blues. And thank you once again for coining, 'Goatfuckers,' I drive my Yankee friends insane with it (while crediting you).

Zero