Comic for Wednesday, February 8th, 2006

Posted: 12:00 am, Wednesday, February 8th

If the punchline seems like it's completely out of left field, that's because you don't spend much time online. (relatively safe for work) I must've read about Lisa Loeb walking around in her thong on her television show five times last week. I'm linking to stereogum because they have both a still and a video, in case you feel like seeing the clip from the show. It's safe for work in that it's something that broadcasts on TV and it's not like it's any more revealing than a bikini bottom or anything, but I can't swear beyond a shadow of a doubt it won't trip a firewall or anything. Astoundingly, this is what passes for topical humor around here.

Jen's glasses were actually kind of based, at some point early in her development, on Lisa Loeb's. I guess I just thought I'd share that.

By the way, and I don't know why I didn't tell this story with Monday's post - oh, right, because I had to take you all on a magical mystery tour through my experience of watching the Super Bowl on my couch - but I actually went to the Apple store last week for the sole purpose of seeing what t-shirts they were wearing. I've been there when they've had just black t-shirts with silver Apple logos in the middle, black t-shirts with the old school logo on it, and green t-shirts that featured white silhouettes of this basic image. Seeing as how they change their shirts a lot, I figured I'd go the extra mile and truck down to Soho on my lunch break to see what they were wearing. They were wearing black t-shirts over black long-sleeved shirts, and tees have a little silver plastic tab on the left sleeve with an indented Apple logo. So, it may look like the dude just has a plain black t-shirt on, but he's wearing an authentic (as of last week) Apple Store uniform.

We lead off the rest of the links with an awesome little discovery about an area of Earth completely untouched by man (until right now). They say it's like the Garden of Eden, which is both weird and hopefully sustainable. It's both exhilarating and horrifying for me to read stuff like this. I love that there are still places on Earth that are pure and pristine - I hate that learning about them means that they're no longer pure and pristine. It's like Catholic guilt applied to the environment, or something.

Now back to stereogum real quick - they've got a track of the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' new album. It's as good as the A- stuff off their first album which is a good sign. I always worry when a band breaks on the scene with a reasonably good to very good album and then takes three years to do a follow-up. Take Jimmy Eat World, for instance - I really liked Bleed American. Sure, the Middle was a big hit that became ubiquitous and then annoying, but a Praise Chorus, Authority Songs, Hear You Me, and My Sundown all helped make that a worthwhile album. Then they took two years too long to put out a follow-up and capitalize. The Yeah Yeah Yeahs had nowhere near the success of Jimmy Eat World, but I still was wondering if they just managed to flame out completely after Fever to Tell.

And I got side-tracked.

Anakin does an interview with Boston's edition of the Metro, in which this exchange takes place:

Metro: Your appearance on the field is one thing. But will the Yankees also put the kibosh on your naked pullups in the clubhouse?

JD: God, I hope so.

"God, I hope so"? What the hell does that mean? What Manny forcing him to do naked pullups in the clubhouse? I kind of thought this was just something Damon did on his own. I'm pretty sure Schilling is happy that the long-haired hippie that always pranced around naked is gone. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I just can't imagine Schilling being down.

Other sets of two words that ER surgeons actually want to hear even less than “Code Black”

• My humps
• I’mma eatchoo
• Malpractice suit

Good article from the Voice on the Busta video shooting. Aside from the social commentary, it has the fascinating bit of news that Gary Sheffield was present for this whole thing. That dude scares me more than any rapper on the planet. I'd take Sheff against the entire G-Unit in a fight any day of the week. I'm still surprised that dude that may have kinda taken a poke at him at Fenway last year didn't lose that arm.

Why can Tom Tomorrow think to say this stuff and not a single Goddamn Democrat in Congress can?

At the office, all the time, I get e-mails from fools with exclamation points, for high priority. It's not like I read my e-mail in any discernable order. I get the e-mail, I read it. I get three or four e-mails at once, I read it from my friends first, and then I sort it from least annoying co-worker to most annoying. But they all get read, and obviously I do all my work. This does not prevent many people from using the exclamation point on every single e-mail. On Monday, for the first time - somehow - I noticed an arrow pointing down, signifying low priority. I have been having a lot of fun with this thing. It's a good time.

I have a little more, but I think this is good for right now.

bullfrog

Does anyone else feel as though, if we have a piece of the earth we haven't seen, maybe there's some value in just leaving it be? We've already mucked up so much of everything else...

...I'll just go back to eating my granola now.

Definitely, 2.0! I was reading about that place yesterday and just picturing the helicopter they took there landing in such a place. That alone could have scared some exotic aminals into extinction! I was especially horified when I read that China and Japan might want to explore the region in the next decade or so for logging.

So when do you think they're putting in the Ikea?

Speaking of IKEA and the Swedes, these genius anti-Free Speech protesters yesterday destroyed the Norwegian embassy in Tehran. Apparently, if a privately-run paper in Denmark publishes humor some find offensive, it starts a war against all of Scandanavia. Stupidity! I'm pretty sure each Scandanavian country will be arriving at the Olympics under their own flag. Where is Thor when the world needs him.

Our important messages have a little burning matchstick next to them. or maybe it's just generic fire, but it's a very small generic fire. i always think, hmm, that's kind of small, must not be important. then i think, wait, it's coming to me, it's definetely not important.

also, do you know what tom tomorrow is talking about bush sealing his dad's documents? i don't remember that and the only thing i can find has to do with bush sealing records on mercury in vaccines.

MNP had me look this up for someone, so I thought I would share: Volunteer Income Tax Assistance Program (VITA) The VITA Program offers free tax help to low- to moderate-income ($38,000 and below) people who cannot prepare their own tax returns. Volunteers sponsored by various organizations receive training to help prepare basic tax returns in communities across the country. VITA sites are generally located at community and neighborhood centers, libraries, schools, shopping malls, and other convenient locations. Most locations also offer free electronic filing. To locate the nearest VITA site, call 1-800-829-1040.

For those who do not qualify within the low-income limits, still try the IRS.gov website. They link to turbotax, H&R Block, and other sites, but if you go through the IRS website often you can get free electronic filing. Just have your W2s and 1099s, etc. in front of you so you can plug in all the information.

And that is one to grow on...

Also, the IRS site decides whether you qualify based on AGI, which can be significantly different than your gross income. So, even if you don't think you qualify for free filing, plug in the numbers anyway, you might be surprised.

Reggie, Stacked links to this editorial about the embassy burnings, which is pretty interesting. Basically, it boils down to government manipulation (not ours, this time):

http://news.ft.com/cms/s/bd275ca8-9847-11da-81 6b-0000779e2340.html

"Yet what the current, in part contrived, controversy reveals is that most Muslims are not listening to the fanatics." This may be true but apparently those supporting the cause against Free Speech in this situation are the one bad egg that spoiled the whole damn bunch and for articles to claim that this is a small minority of people is hard to believe considering the large masses of people running around in countries around the world burning Danish flags (not sure where you locate one of those in Tehran). It makes me proud to be an American (despite my Hawaiian heritage) to know that Americans tend not to react with violence and destruction when someone criticizes or offends their religion (only when cops who brutally beat people get off). Generally, destruction of well-constructed buildings accomplishes very little other than making your own neighborhood ugly.

If I may add, Holmgren...you sound like the biggest sore loser in the history of sports. Maybe, just maybe, I could understand blaming the refs if your teamed played half decent, but with Hasselback's true talent coming out and JerAmy's constant nightmares of Porter running him over as the ball was being throw to him, the Seahawks just sucked. Had all the calls gone the other way, there's no guarantee the Suckhawks would have won. Loser. Jerome, I hope you're enjoying your time at Disney. Don't forget to hit up the Safari ride at the Animal Kingdom and the indoor Dinosaur roller coaster. Both are good times.

Actually, you can evidently get flags at your local 7-11 in Tehran these days.

http://www.alertnet.org/thenews/newsdesk/L0615 3755.htm

And most Americans couldn't find an embassy if their lives depended on it. We're bred by TV and the goverment to be lazy and inert, and leave the reacting with violence to the federal goverment. Or when UConn wins the NCAAs.

And, in times like these, we all need to turn to the unflappable for some perspective. I give you Allen Iverson on the cartoon issue (via Deadspin)

http://www.seattlest.com/archives/2006/02/06/w hat_allen_iverson_might_say_to_our_angry_muslim_friends.php

That Gaza shopkeeper should be up there on the list with Steve Jobs for Business Week's businessperson of the year. Entrepreneurial genius.

I, in fact, have no idea where to find the Danish embassy if I were overcome with extreme rage some time during the day today. But, I do know where the Horseshoe is located in Columbus, which has to be a far more hated landmark than a Danish embassy. All this talk of danishes is making me hungry.

In his post-game interview last night (after scraping by North Carolina!), Coach K gave a shout out to A-rod, citing him as a good friend and that he introduced him to the team after the last game. Duke & the Yankees in cahoots!

See, the problem here is that I *like* 'Licia, so I can't just excoriate her on that nonsense. The fact that A-Rod is a Dook fan is just so brain-bustingly perfect, though.

Duke and Yankees are not in cahoots. Duke and A-Rod are in cahoots. A-Rod is not the Yankees and, even if he by some chance plays well in the playoffs/World Series and wins a championship, he will never be a Yankee. Yankees stand for all that is good in this world. A-Rod stands for all that is bad.

You have no idea how tempted I am to go into the site edited and redact your "good in this world" line, Reginald. You're lucky I'm not a Bushie.

If the need arises:

Danish Embassy 3200 Whitehaven St NW, Washington, DC

Jack funny, E.

Evidently, the only form of capital punishment in the state of Washington in 1994 was hanging.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/LAW/02/08/fat.inmate.a p/index.html

I don't like the death penalty anyway, but freaking hanging? Why not a firing squad? Or a public beheading?

Sorry if that posting got your website on any watch lists.