Comic for Thursday, January 19th, 2006

Posted: 12:10 am, Thursday, January 19th

I was about to offer ten bones to anyone who could identify today's subject line, but then I googled it and it said where it's from, so nevermind. I will say GOD BLESS DR. TEETH and that's about it.

Not a lot went on today.. Um, there's a funny few things in the front of this month's Harper's, and I was thinking of scanning in the ass-impossible puzzle that they stick at the end, but that's in the living room and I'm typing this in bed right now, so you don't get any of that crap today. Let's go with the junk I typed up earlier today.

The dudes over at Fire Joe Morgan open a whole can of whoop-ass on Colin Cowherd of ESPN radio right over here. I love shit like this - the media in almost all regards is not nearly as thorough as it needs to be, TV/radio especially. Obviously, there are more vital examples of this than freaking ESPN radio, but since I am an idiot and can pay much better attention to baseball stats than I can global politics and there is a hard-and-fast veracity to baseball stats whereas global politics and a big murky mess, I am going to point out Fire Joe Morgan pointing out Colin Cowherd's idiocy as an indication that the media needs to regulate itself and take itself more seriously. Which is lame, because there's nothing stupider than sportstalk radio. Which is *funny*, because all I listen to in the car is sportstalk radio, as there is a total lack of decent radio stations in New York City. Really, what I should do is get XM or Sirius or something, but one of those receivers would roughly double the value of my car. But it would save brain cells, so that’s something. Also, the amount of time I spend in the car in an average week is two minutes. I move to the odd-numbered side of the street on Monday night, back to the even on Tuesday night. Coincidentally, I’m such a creature of habit about this that I heard the same segment on Mike and Mad Dog on Monday nights for four straight weeks. It was the part where they “analyzed” the remaining schedules of the NFC playoff teams. The guy with the deeper voice would read off the teams and their schedules, and the other guy would eliminate every single team on basis of strength of schedule. According to their process of elimination, only three teams made the NFC playoffs this year. Which maybe wouldn’t’ve been a bad idea. (2.0, were she still reading this paragraph, would be nodding her head right now.)

More about sports real quick, Goddamn if Deadspin didn't find the butt-ugliest baseball player ever. And I try to be nice to people and take their feelings into account and not say mean things about people who haven't stolen two national elections on the site, but fuck my eye, this guy is ugly. (Shameful confession - it took me like twenty minutes to find that last link.)

And the final link (sorry, not a ton today) is from the Onion. You know, man, your offer of gum seems rather disingenuous. A rather innocent Onion editorial, frankly, except for the fact that is a fine example of why the Onion is the best satire on the web. You know who certain Onion columnists appear again and again? The gangsta guy from Accounts Receivables, the comic-book shop guy, Smoove B., people like that? The only other appearance this gum guy has ever had was in June of 2001. Somehow, someone remembered this guy and thought, "let's revisit the gum dude." That's awesome. Also, frightening that I immediately thought "I've seen this guy before" and looked him up in the archives. I have lead, seriously, a wasted life.

I lied, there's one last one. CK got interviewed in a trade mag and got to talk about her apartment. I'm not linking all the way through to the interview because, honestly, I haven't got to read it yet. But it talks about the decor of her apartment, which I have always thought it the coolest of anyone I know. CK makes decorative sculpture out of her old MetroCards. It's awesome. She also had the one wall of exposed brick, although it's not the wall you can see in this picture. I'm sure the interview also says great things about CK's career achievements, but I'm just focusing on the MetroCard butterflies right now. Expanding from CK to all girls I've ever known - what the hell is wrong with us dudes? Girls make apartments look so much cooler. I first noticed this with Drolett's junior year apartment. She had, like, a skirt or a sheet or something hung in one corner of her tiny single. And it looked great. Man, if I stuck a sheet in the corner, it would look like ass. Why are girls just infinitely better at decorating stuff than dudes are? 2.0 has a jar with sticks in it on top of one of our bookcases. It's awesome. If I did it, it would look like a jar with a bunch of sticks in it. 2.0 does it, it looks like it's out of a catalog. I've learned how to cook just fine, but girls have done gone extended their lead in the gender wars by revolutionizing random interior decoration. And making me sound lamer than hell by complaining about it.

Um, anything else..? I don't think I have any. Back tomorrow, you all.

bullfrog

Jeez, did they just change the ESPN website *again*? Dear God, guys, let it be for a few months, huh?

yo, i thought the title to today's page was a tribute to one of my old favorite bands: mother love bone. the lyrics to their song 'gentle groove' goes: "...till kingdom come thy work is done on earth as it is in dallas..." http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mother_Love_Bone< /a> http://www.allmusic.com/cg/amg.dll?p=amg&sql=1 1:difyxqe5ldte~T1 http://www.angelfire.com/wa/olympus/mlbbio.htm l http://www.angelfire.com/sk/seattlebands/mlbly rics.html

great photo: http://news.yahoo.com/photo/ydownload_ap/20060 119/photos_net_ap_yn/1137641317;_ylt=AsdbHiR84HjzSGMJDm4VVPF v24cA;_ylu=X3oDMTA3bGk2OHYzBHNlYwN0bXA-

Yeesh, I need to stop writing this stuff at eleven thirty at night. Enough typos in this one for you? Sorry, gang.

And, nope, it's Dr. Teeth and the Electric Mayhem. Aka the house band on the Muppet Show.

And Theo's back with the Sox. My baseball team has become a soap opera.

awd7436@fivebuckstofriday.com

and3367@fivebuckstofriday.com

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